Whew! I finished the essay today. I'll tell you all about it when I get the "for sure" we're going to use it. Don't worry, I'll tell you if they hate it, but I'm just neurotic about not jinxing it. It sure feels good to get it done. I believe that was the hardest thing I've ever written. I'm still in the just-finished-it-hate-it stage, but ... at one time I thought it was good. I loved the idea.
After I read my stuff twenty million times, live with the research for ages, write and re-write and edit, think about it hours every day, then I hate it. After some time passes, I read it again, and it sounds like someone else wrote it, and it doesn't seem so bad. :-)
Anyway, I was thinking today how the circumstances of our life affect our personality. One of my good friends walked in the other day, took one look at me and said, "Ohmigosh, your foot isn't hurting anymore, is it?" While I stared at her in shock that she guessed, she said, "You look happy and you're smiling!"
*cringe* Evidently, I've been a bit of a pinch lately.
Just like, after I finished my essay today, I realized how much hard work non-fic is for me to write. It took me until Jade's reminder to remember that to incorporate my enthusiastic spirit in the essay. And gosh, I really love this anthology and was tripping over myself, dying to get in! I love the subject!
Just a few days ago, I was growling at someone using the word 'fun,' and how it's not always fun, and you gotta keep writing.
Er, well, after I finished the non-fic, I realized how much I miss the fun of writing fiction.
Fun is good. Personally, I still like the words fulfilling and rewarding better--I read fun as a bit flippant--but ... one needs to write with the heart and a playful spirit, at times.
Well, what is it that Bridget Jones said? "Oh, for Christ's sakes. It's only a diary. Everyone knows diaries are just full of crap."