Thursday, February 15, 2007

Static Computer

True story:

"Sony Tech."

I clear my throat. "Um, every time my cat sits next to the computer, it freezes."

A pause.

I gush on. "And if my arm brushes the side of the computer, it freezes."

"Are you ... what are ... uh--" he cuts off so abruptly, it sounds almost like he pressed the mute button.

"Sometimes, the screen goes black," I add. "When I try to raise the volume."

"May I put you on hold for a moment?"

I fidget while I wait. He comes back on the line. "Are you doing anything else when it freezes?"

"Sure, emails to a ton of people I owe emails to, trying to leave blog comments, trying to get work done. Look, I'm not inept. I've upgraded hard drives, memory, CD players, DVD players, soundcards. I even built my own computer once, from scratch."

Silence. Then, "so when your cat sits next to your computer, it freezes. Also when you touch the side of your computer?"

"Yes."

"Where is the power button located?"

"On the top!"

Another pause. "Okay, I'm going to send you a box."

"Should I include the power cord?"

"We won't need it." Another pause. "But can you send the cat?"

6 bonus scribbles:

Anissa 2/15/2007 11:04:00 PM  

LOL!! Seriously, I'm sitting here shaking in the chair. That was great!

Oh, that so made up for a whole day of cleaning. Thank you.

The Dark Scribe 2/15/2007 11:14:00 PM  

Frocking hilarious! Oh, man...techies are great, aren't they? Way to capture the confusion.

spyscribbler 2/15/2007 11:29:00 PM  

Did I mention it was a true story? I've put off calling for over a week, because I'm sure I'm going to end up on one of those endlessly forwarded emails, where techies make fun of the stupid problems people call in with.

But it's true! I swear! I'm not crazy! Or at least not that crazy!

Kate S 2/16/2007 08:46:00 PM  

That is too funny.

Edie 2/17/2007 09:32:00 PM  

LOLOL. I thought it was a joke you wrote. I hope that doesn't start to happen in my office. My cat crawls all around the computer and she sits next to it too.

spyscribbler 2/19/2007 03:09:00 PM  

I think it's this Sony All in One. This is the third time it's happened. Ugh!