Sometimes I wonder if life is a big river, and we're just riding the current.
I paddle so hard and fast sometimes, I'm worn out and exhausted. And why? Because even when I stop paddling, the current keeps taking me downstream exactly where I want to go.
All my paddling can't push my boat any faster than the current is already sweeping me.
So why do we wear ourselves out? Why do we stress and strive and work so hard?
Is it because we're impatient? Because we don't trust that we'll get there? Or because we fear we won't?
If there's a bend in the river, it's not like we can bend it in a different direction.
And if the river's already rushing at 50 miles an hour, what's the point in paddling? I can't paddle faster than 50 mph, so I'm just wasting effort. All it needs is a dip or two of the paddle, now and then, to keep on course.
Update on The Big N: I deleted my secondary characters. I deleted everything except the name of the protagonist, which finally feels perfect.
I've lived with the secondary characters for a year now, talking in my head. But after all that time, they've ... I don't know ... they've told their story already? So I had to say goodbye. I put them in a file that I hope I'll open again someday. I'll miss them while they're gone.
This story is going to have less action than I wanted and more heart than I previously considered. That's okay, I guess. My resolution this year was to dig deeper. I suppose emotion and character relationships are my strengths.
But who really knows?
My progress has gone from 10,000 words, to 1,000 words, to two. And yet, I swear it's progress. :-)