Friday, April 06, 2007

Refreshed, Revitalized, and Renewed!

Hey Everyone! I missed y’all! I missed blogging! I feel like I missed everything! My feed reader got so stuffed I blindly deleted a bunch of posts, just to save my sanity. Now I regret it!

So how are y’all doing? How’s the WIP going? How’s the spring break going? What’s up???

I thought it was going to take me all week to undo my burn-out and exhaustion. I thought I was going to have to spend a couple days in bed, just to clear my head.

In reality, it took me three hours of holding my niece in my arms as she slept. Dear God in heaven, some things are just so amazing and wonderful and … heart-filling, that it feels like your whole world changes. It was the best three hours of the year, excepting the four or so hours I spent with her in January.

Does that sound ridiculous?

After that wonderful day, I’ve spent all week at Borders reading and writing. I’ve been devouring books on Africa. I’ve never been there, but I’m falling in love with the place. God, it’s so gorgeous and raw.

And I’m torn up about things there. I just can’t see closing my eyes and pretending the world doesn’t exist, you know? It breaks your heart, though.

Are there any women out there who don’t have kids? Did you ever hit a spot in your life where you feel like you need to do something? Give some meaning to your life? Something outside yourself? With kids, I’m sure it’s easy; you’re doing a whole heck of a lot for the world. But me? I live to support myself my DH. Isn’t that the most self-absorbed and selfish thing?

11 bonus scribbles:

Christa M. Miller 4/07/2007 07:59:00 AM  

Nothing ridiculous about holding a sleeping baby. I don't get to do it too often what with the 3-year-old, but when I do, it is as you describe. Even better: letting other people hold him, because then I can see it on their faces. :)

And I can honestly say that with kids - for me at least - it's still hard to feel like you're doing something for the world. I have no idea how they'll turn out; all DH and I can do is our best. And, I'm wired so that I do need to do more. That's why I write. And why many moms I know volunteer at schools, emergency pregnancy centers, hospitals, shelters.

It's not selfish to provide for you and your DH... it still counts as responsibility towards others. Plus, you're a teacher, right? So you are doing good for the world, too. Even if it doesn't feel that way! (((HUGS)))

StarvingWriteNow 4/07/2007 09:35:00 AM  

Hooray! You're back!

And worrying as usual I see... no, you're not selfish. If you were a total hedonist, going after your own pleasure, steamrolling anyone who got in your way, that would be selfish.

Kids are great, especially when they get old enough to go to friend's houses overnight and I have the whole day to myself! Seriously, though, I wouldn't trade mine for anything.

Kate S 4/07/2007 01:02:00 PM  

So glad you're back, but completely understand the need for a break.

As for kids... they're overrated. ;)

No, I have to agree with christina and starvingwritenow. Children can give your life some purpose; but ultimately, we each have to find some purpose beyond them, because they do grow up and go out on their own. And of course, some people can't have them, so it would be unfair to assume their lives had no purpose, wouldn't it?

Stop worrying - you aren't selfish and self-absorbed. The fact that you even worried about it proves you aren't!

Glad to have you back - and congratulations on the word counts!

avery,  4/07/2007 06:01:00 PM  

Deciding not to have kids was easy for "S" and I. What sucked was telling the parents, and then subsequently having to hear the "You'll change your mind" speech ad infinitum from nearly everyone on the planet.

I figure the world is overpopulated, anyway, so we that are on the fence (or are mostly over it) should leave the kid-having to those who really, really want them. They'll do a better job of making little humans into big ones than I.

So, no. No guilt here.

B.E. Sanderson 4/07/2007 06:50:00 PM  

Welcome back. =oD

You have nothing to feel guilty about. I'm sure you do wonderful things all the time that make the world a better place.

spyscribbler 4/07/2007 08:02:00 PM  

You guys are all right. I think I'm having some sort of mid-life (a little early) crisis, and some ticking clock crisis, too. I guess I probably won't have kids. This past year or two, I think I've been avoiding the fact that I really want one.

Aw, Christa. I swear, my arms are just yearning to hold her again. Hey, I missed you, Starvingwritenow! I can't wait for the retreat!

Kate, I hope you're right. I really do. Hi, B.E.! Sometimes I wonder, LOL. I really do.

Avery, that is so nice. How can they say that? That's kind of ... unthoughtful. What if the person is crying every week because they can't have kids?

Although, I have several nice-minded people who tell me how much wiser it is to buy rather than rent. I feel like hitting them over the head with a newspaper and saying "Duh! If I could, I would!"

And besides, one can choose not to have kids, and that's a cool thing, too. You're right!

Therese 4/08/2007 08:41:00 PM  

Glad you're back!

There's nothing more restorative than holding a sleeping infant...

But as for having one of your own, the only "right" choice is the one that suits YOU.

Choosing to not have kids is not about self-indulgence, it's about self-knowledge.

avery 4/09/2007 11:49:00 AM  

Spy -- We rent too. We get the same advice all the time. There's that formula that everyone is supposed to go by: go to college, get married, have kids. If you don't follow that exact plan, it's like something short-circuits in some people's heads and they just can't process the information.

Therese -- Right on! You rock.

Nicole Kelly 4/09/2007 07:20:00 PM  

I don't have kids. I made this decision when I was in my early twenties, and I am still standing by it. I find a lot of people are pretty pushy about me changing my mind about the subject, but I just can't see it ever happening. I've been called selfish, childish, and worse.

As for do I feel like I need meaning, yes, totally. I like to teach and working with kids, but not as a career. So, I voluteer to teach kids martial arts. It really gives me focus, as I am reaching out and helping a life that is already here. There are so many children that could use extra attention (from family to the neighborhood kids), and I feel like there is where my meaning takes me.