Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Missing the Story

My reaction to my latest is just bizarre, completely unlike me. I’ve never quite had such a strange reaction to one of my stories before. First, I procrastinated sending it out three days after it was done. When I finally sent it off, I actually teared up.

And it’s not that time of month.

I had to change my ending, and I really wanted my old ending, but there just wasn’t room. My mind did a novel, and I had to shorten it to 40,000 words. Maybe I cared about improving myself more on this one, and somewhere, I feel like I wish I could have done better. I put a lot of pressure on myself on this one.

Or maybe I just miss my hero. I love him. And my heroine. It’s like, I’m just not ready to give them up.

The first time I finished a story was the first night I slept like a baby. I could get all that gunk out of my head, on paper, and I could sleep.

I didn’t get all of this story out on paper.

And now it’s gone stale, you know? After I read something so many times, my bit of ADD does not let me read it again. I can barely skim. It’s my limitation, and I’ve got to work with it.

But now the story’s done, and I can’t write more, and I can’t enjoy reading it. I liked that world, I guess.

I gotta tell you, this is just bizarre. I do not have this sort of reaction to my stuff. I send it out, get to work on the next one. Oh well. Shake it off. I’ve got another hero to fall in love with. And I’m really hoping to have time to squeeze in a thriller-ish short story before the novella I’m writing for October! In November, I’m shoving out my thriller if it kills me. I swear. (I know you’ve heard it before. Well, I mean it this time.)

So. Have you ever gotten nostalgic about a world or a story, even when you can’t bear to read it again, even when it’s all done? Do you ever just wish you could do it all over again?

5 bonus scribbles:

StarvingWriteNow 9/18/2007 08:24:00 AM  

In a way, yes. Despite the fact that I'm not published, during the course of my writing "career" (snort) I have put aside WIPs that weren't working for one reason or other and never gone back to them despite those nostalgic pulls to re-enter that world. One such work was lost when my first laptop crashed and, even though I still have all the notes, etc... I have never been able to go back to it and try again. It's like that story's time was back then, and once it was gone, it was gone.

Edie 9/18/2007 12:17:00 PM  

I loved one world I created, and I'd love to sell the book so I can go back again and do a sequel. My wip I set up so I can do sequels.

But from reading your blog, I wonder if you subconsciously think it's time to move on to a major print pub. Is that what your thriller is?

spyscribbler 9/18/2007 03:59:00 PM  

Starving, I understand. That's why I try to write fast, get it out before it goes stale. I really think I'm not ready to let this one particular one go. I just might get the chance to do my original ending, though!

Edie, your sequel thing sounds like a heavenly set-up! Yes, thriller is, you're very perceptive!

I've been wrestling with that question for a year. I'm feeling closer every day, but I'm trying not to drive myself crazy, just trusting that when it's time, I'll jump on it. I'm like that. So, soon, I'll be all over it. I can feel it, LOL.

Bernita 9/19/2007 06:55:00 AM  

Yes.
"I didn’t get all of this story out on paper."
Yes.
Think this is one of the reasons behind series.We don't want to leave that world, we feel we haven't done it justice.

spyscribbler 9/19/2007 03:33:00 PM  

So true, Bernita! It looks like I'll get to expand the ending, and it seems a sequel might just happen, too. :-) As you say, I'm just not ready to leave this world, LOL.