Back when I was young, no one else around me was named Natasha. This, I liked. In fact, when I was about four or five and at an amusement park, an adult other than my father or mother called out "Tasha!"
All three of us turned, but she was calling her daughter, also named Natasha.
I was jealous. How dare someone else have my name! It was mine. No one else’s!
I suppose it’s all my name’s fault. I’ve always wanted to be different. No matter the situation, the time in my life, whatever, I’ve always--whether consciously or unconsciously--chosen a different path.
To me, peer pressure was never an issue, except that if my friends chose one way, I was likely to choose the other. I liked being different, even though I’m a terrible people-pleaser.
Most of my life is slightly unconventional. I teach differently than most, I write in a tiny niche that is different, I prefer my sex a little different, I don’t have a house and two kids, I’m self-employed, I’ve only worked a 9 to 5 for five months, my DH is over twenty years older than me, and I hardly do anything that other people my age are doing. (Kids, dinner parties, houses, cars, climbing the career ladder, keeping up with the Joneses, etc.)
Right now, I’m considering another path that is different. (I’m not saying I’m different than everyone, just different from "normal.")
When I came back to the table at Borders today, where DH was reading to keep me company while I wrote, I realized how very happy my choices make me. It struck me how insane it is to try to fit into society’s molds and expectations. Every single difference in me brings me my greatest happiness.
I mean, different is just so much fun.
I suppose the downside to my name was that I never could buy those notepads with my name on them. Although my name is more common now and is often represented in those personalized items, it wasn’t when I was growing up. So no pencils that said "Natasha" on them.
But if that’s the only downside to being different, I’ll take it.
(And I’m not saying being "normal" isn’t fun. I’m sure it’s as much fun for some people as my life is for me, LOL.)
Any thoughts? What paths have you chosen in your life that were "different than?" Any regrets?