Thursday, January 17, 2008

Happy Endings.

So as I was cleaning the poop out of the litter box, my mind wandered to this guy I knew in my early twenties. Had I not worked with him for two years, I never would’ve gotten to know and like him. He was everything opposite from me. He was a frat boy, a clean cut military wannabe who had a bum knee, and he kept a list.

A list, you know? I’m talking a list that, at last count, had gone over the number one hundred, with all the names of the women he had slept with. It was by his bedside for any women to peruse if she so chose.

And first I thought, he sure needed a deep, intimate relationship. Then I thought, I bet now he’s got a wife he adores and never cheats on, with two kids and a nice house in the suburbs.

Then I realized that’s a little poetic. People don’t change in real life as much as they do in fiction. What if he’s a bachelor with a list up to five hundred or a thousand by now? Or what if he’s still waiting tables and flirting with women at the female version of a gentleman’s club? What if he has a wife but that list is still growing?

I have a tendency to write happy endings for people in my mind. All my ex-boyfriends, save one or two, have happy endings. So do my acquaintances.

This is a little crazy, so I was wondering if you guys do it, too?

Random thoughts:

I feel happy today. I also watched three hours of bad TV yesterday while feeling
sorry for myself. And then I cleaned. I am definitely gaining an appreciation
for cleaning, that’s for sure. It’s like the depression wonder drug!

I’m thinking of cancelling my DirecTV account until the writer’s strike is over.

Is there anything on TV? I mean, yesterday I watched Gossip Girl. Well. The main character, Serena, is striking. It’s hard to take your eyes off of her. She’s got a quality about her. The show itself is crap.

But still I watched.

At City’s Edge by Marcus Sakey is OUT! YAY! And that means my reading crisis is most definitely over. I can’t buy it until February, but I have a feeling I’ll be finishing it while I’m supposed to be writing at Borders. I will definitely buy it, though.

Finally, it occurred to me as I was strolling through Borders today that there are three definite ways to get rich and be wildly successful:

  1. Do speaking engagements and write a book on how to get rich.
  2. Do speaking engagements and write a book on how to lose weight.
  3. Do speaking engagements and write a book on how to be successful.

It strikes me as cheating, a little bit, to go from being poor to getting rich solely by telling others how to get rich. You really don’t have any experience about getting rich, except by way of telling others how to get rich. Which means, unless your followers all want to get rich by telling others how to get rich, what do you really know?

Ditto the successful bit.

14 bonus scribbles:

StarvingWriteNow 1/17/2008 03:16:00 PM  

Amazing what a few hours of bad TV will do for you!

Holly Kennedy 1/17/2008 09:57:00 PM  

You know your friend with the list? Two things immediately came to mind:

1) that you thought of him while changing the cat litter -- how apt!

2) he's a liar who made up the list to bolster his sagging ego and impress/shock. My guess is he probably slept with less than a handful.

Bailey Stewart 1/17/2008 10:23:00 PM  

I was thinking the same thing as Holly as I read this - like, I always think of ex-boyfriends while cleaning the litter box. LOL

At least I'm catching up on my reading.

spyscribbler 1/17/2008 10:23:00 PM  

LOL, Writenow! It was actually kinda nice.

Hey, Holly! He was just a friend, even if I once made the list for one quickie. :-) He was cool. I do believe he slept with that many women; I mean, later on he worked at one of those male stripper places. And I saw him with a lot of different women over the years.

I think I did him a disservice in my description. He was a good, friendly, nice guy, although he must've had some issues under there. Just a regular, blond-haired, irresistibly blue-eyed kid.

And he grinned good. Everything twinkled. :-)

spyscribbler 1/17/2008 10:26:00 PM  

LOL, Bailey. I think there's a lesson in writing and setting and stuff in all this. :-)

Aimless Writer 1/17/2008 10:42:00 PM  

First I think the friend with the list of conquests is probably a walking pile of germs. :)
Sorry, every hear the old saying; when you sleep with someone, you're sleeping with everyone they ever slept with. Ewwwwww. Wouldn't touch that one with a ten foot pole.
My kids would call him a Man-whore.
I think I'll go clean the litterbox now...
:)
lol

Edie 1/17/2008 10:45:00 PM  

Haha, I thought the same thing as Holly and Bailey. That would be an interesting way to start a book. And this is a good time to read a book. That's what I'm doing. I hope you find some good ones soon.

spyscribbler 1/17/2008 10:46:00 PM  

LOL, Aimless, I like that: man-whore. I've never heard that term before.

Stephen Parrish 1/18/2008 01:58:00 AM  

I agree, if the guy is keeping a list, and leaving it out for viewing, he's got an issue or two he ought to be dealing with.

Keep in mind, though, that for every guy who bops a hundred girls and brags about it, there are a hundred girls adding their names to his list.

lainey bancroft 1/18/2008 08:38:00 AM  

LOL, Spy! This post is like a conversation with my teenaged daughter and three of her friends...they're all talking about something different, yet somehow they communicate???

I'll cast my vote with those who are putting Mr. List in the litter box. Like Stephen said, if he did 100 and she did 100 and so on and so on. *big shudder*

Bad TV? Nope. I'd sooner read a bad book.

Cleaning. Yes. Almost too much right now. :(

Speaking engagements. Hmm, totally not my bailiwick. Guess I'll have to come up with 10000 pages of Wizard story...Oh, wait. That's been done.

Back to the drawing board.

Zoe Winters 1/18/2008 10:22:00 AM  

its getting to the point now where nonfiction writers (unless they self publish) have to have a platform, so you can't write a book on how to get rich unless you're rich, or how to lose weight unless you're a celebrity, you lost a lot of weight on some special plan you made up and have three degrees, or whatever.

Maybe the guy with the list is happily married. It's possible. I think people can and do change. Just the majority of people don't.

Zoe Winters 1/18/2008 10:30:00 AM  

I'm not sure I'm comfortable passing judgment on someone based on one facet of their life. Whatever someone's sexual proclivities, it's their business and it's unfair to assume someone has issues based on them doing something I wouldn't personally do.


Stephen,

Or it could be viewed simply as full disclosure. Lots of people want to know your history before they sleep with you now. Having a list that long, no matter what others say, in my opinion is a decent way of saying: "Honey, this ain't love, it's a good lay, that's it. And this is the risk on this piece of paper."

Its far better than if he didn't have the list. How else would a guy get into the "Um, I've slept with about a hundred women, thought you should know" discussion?

People here already think he was lying, so he couldn't just say it. A list of individual names at least makes him more credible. He also lets the person he's about to sleep with know she's going to be on the list. I think the people going into it know what they're getting into here.

spyscribbler 1/18/2008 01:03:00 PM  

Too true, Stephen! He didn't really leave it out for viewing, but since I knew of it and my second best friend at the time was dating him, I made sure she went into it fully informed. She was the type that would have been cool with that, and completely confidant that if she wanted him, she'd be the last one on that list, LOL.

Lainey, LOL, I'm cleaning too much, too. But I'm doing a do-over on describing the Boy Who Grinned, because he's not at all like I've described him. :-)

Zoe, this was at the tail end of the AIDS crisis, so talking about who you've been with and when you were last tested and the whole entire sexual history was part of normal foreplay.

So, yeah, lists were good. We were taught to keep lists. And he was scrupulous about his sexual health, LOL, if nothing else.

Zoe Winters 1/18/2008 02:13:00 PM  

hehe alrighty then. Well see, he had a good quality.