I have trouble waking up. This is putting it mildly. The only time, in the last few years, I have successfully been able to wake up without five alarms and a two-hour ordeal, was when I was on hormone-fixing drugs, LOL. It is truly the hardest thing I do every day.
And trust me, it has nothing to do with my enjoyment or enthusiasm for life.
It’s so hard, that when I have to be up really early, I don’t go to bed at all. It’s easier for me to just stay up than to sleep for a few hours and wrench myself out of bed.
Reason will not work during this time. The brain will not work. Everything is all mixed up, and even if I know I desperately want to get up, I just can’t because my brain won’t think clear enough.
For example, this morning, I reminded myself that I wanted to have time to work on the website I’m making. But I had a flash of fear that it was wilting in the refrigerator. No, I thought, surely not, it’s only been a day.
But then I tried to remember if I had put the website in the same bag as the green onions, because those had wilted past the point of use in my weekly frig-emptying soup. If the website was in the same bag as the green onions, then it would be all slimy and green and icky.
No, I thought, I did not put the website in the same bag as the green onions.
Somewhere amidst this fuzziness, I knew I desperately wanted to get up, so I told myself to think of the things I wanted to do most, the things that really motivated me to repeatedly want to get up.
And, in the middle of a snowstorm in northern Ohio, I decided that I would motivate myself to get up by going for a walk on the beach along the ocean. Because suddenly I lived in a lovely little open-aired shack on the beach, and there was the ocean right out my window. And DH was standing on the beach right out my window, too. :-)
So I did, in fact, get up and take a walk along the ocean, enjoying the smells and the sunrise.
Then my alarm went off again.
Anyway, if you want to read something inspiring today, read this blog on falling down, and mentally replace "design" with "writing."