Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Journal Day Today

I can still reach DH by cell phone today, but sometime tonight or tomorrow, I won’t be able to hear his voice for a long time. :-( But ... he sounds so happy.

He misses us, of course, and 18-hour days aren’t exactly the most fun thing in the world, but he sounds happy. That makes it a little easier for me to bear. He just loves the ocean, and he loves traveling. He sounds positively exhilarated.

We’re different. Most of the work I’ve done in my life has been a striving for some artistic goal, which means my work has been my life’s passion, not really a job.

DH, on the other hand, works to travel. That’s what fulfills him. He always says a "job is just a job" and "a job is a means to an end." He has a great work ethic and he takes pride in doing his work well, but ... to him, it doesn’t matter what he does, as long as it buys him the lifestyle he wants.

I don’t know if I have a point to this post. Except to express that I feel guilty. He sounds happier. And I feel guilty for "keeping" him in Ohio. I want him to be happy, too.

I think there is something in all of our lives that exhilarates us. And that we need to find it and do it. I need to make a plan so that DH sounds exhilarated more.

Sorry, boring journal sort of entry today. How do you view your work? How does your partner?

8 bonus scribbles:

Ello 1/08/2008 10:05:00 PM  

I didn't think this was boring at all. I am feeling for you for this separation. I seem to know alot of couples who have these enforced work separations lately. Alot of them I know have husbands that work for the state department. It's rough, but you keep busy and time tends to fly by. And I know this is for a big goal for you so best of luck with that. It is wonderful for you to be so supportive of your husband.

Erica Orloff 1/09/2008 08:30:00 AM  

Hi Spy:
My work is my life. It's my passion, it's why I get up in the morning (well, that and a Demon Baby who loves greeting the dawn).

My guy gets that I'm a "workaholic"--but I don't see it as a workaholic so much as a writer, which is a 24/7 occupation. You're ALWAYS doing it, in essence, even if it's just in your head.

He works a job. Always had. But he's finally getting his photography biz off the ground . . . and that has the potential to be a passion, not to mention, he's utterly BRILLIANT.


Aimless Writer 1/09/2008 08:31:00 AM  

Hang in there spy! My DH has traveled alot too. When my kids were younger I think I resented being left home with all the day to day issues while he was out having fun. But through the years I've learned he was lonely out there too. Right now he's gone again for a few days and I think he's getting tired of all the travel.
My dh is a hunter. I think any time he's out in the woods he's found his bliss. I tell him he's a closet redneck. He really should be a woodland guide or something like that. He could hike the forest in the dead of winter and love it.
I always say my bliss is art and writing...I work a day job to support these habits.

Zoe Winters 1/09/2008 09:15:00 AM  

My husband sees work as a means to an end, and until i'm making money writing, I view it the same way. That being said, while working you can do it in nicer scenery. With all the job postings and hirings done online it's not nearly as hard to relocate as it used to be.

Bernita 1/09/2008 11:11:00 AM  

My passion, not my job.
He views my job as him - and my writing a hobby.

Avery,  1/09/2008 03:10:00 PM  

Wow, what is it that DH does again? Being out of contact for so long must be really difficult.

The Architect has a similar work ethic to DH--go to work, get home, do what you want with the earnings. Me, I tend to get enmeshed in it all. When I worked, I took my boss' greed too personally, took the crappy, boring nature of my job too personally, made it more torture than it needed to be. I just couldn't help feeling the total waste of every single second of my life, earning loads of money for one person while getting practically nothing for myself. It's obviously better, now. I'm not earning money, yet, but I'm not making the undeserved rich, either.

spyscribbler 1/12/2008 11:19:00 AM  

Ello, you're right! Busy is the key! Cleaning sure helps. My new motto is "just clean one little thing." It helps!

Erica, you're so right. It is a 24/7 occupation. I'm usually daydreaming about a story even when I'm doing other things. Good thing we love it!

That would be cool, Erica! If I ever need an author photo someday, I'll have to ask him! I probably misspoke about his passions; DH would love to play poker ... I don't have the constitution for playing for real money. *sigh* Maybe if we had a bit more money. He does dream of playing in the World Series some day. Other than that, he just loves the ocean.

Aimless, your husband and mine have so much in common! I'm kinda glad he hasn't hunted since he's moved here. ICK! I'm hanging in, doing better every day!

Zoe, yeah, that's my husband, too. I do have to say that I sometimes miss retail. Mostly, I think that's really a manifestation of missing talking to adults, LOL.

spyscribbler 1/12/2008 11:29:00 AM  

"He views my job as him"

Hah! Bernita, that's hilarious. It's funny how we allow our partners to have their delusions.

Avery, he did something (I don't know what, even though he's told a million times) for most of his life that's pretty much obsolete anyway. He took a buyout from IBM about ten years ago, and he's been in what I call his "wandering years" ever since. He traveled a lot, working in Alaska fisheries in between, before settling down to manage a few small hotels in LA.

Then I disrupted things by begging him to come out to Ohio. :-)

I'm like you, Avery. I take everything to heart. For example, when students pay late, I feel like they think I'm a bad teacher. I've played in churches and directed choirs, and it's the same thing. Work is personal for me, even though I know it's supposed to be "business, not personal."

(I'm making a face at that expression.)