When you’re young and in high school, it’s almost like you can do anything, be anything when you grow up. I remember I wanted to--believe it or not--go into the Air Force Academy for quite awhile. But then, at some point, I realized I couldn’t major in piano performance at the Air Force Academy, LOL. The choice was a no-brainer.
But, in high school, I was pretty good at all the subjects, so ... you remember that feeling? When the world was your oyster?
There was a short period of five months when I had a "real" job. The one lawyer suggested I go to law school. (But he had ulterior motives I didn’t know about ... damned corporate politics suck! He used my naivete to screw the two lawyers I loved, loved, loved -- another reason why spy fiction fascinates me.) It wasn’t at all tempting, but through my side jobs in college, I’d tried more and more to build up a resume and stuff.
And then, today, fifteen years later, I suddenly got this weird feeling. Like ... piano and writing, it’s all I know how to do. Some people want to quit their "real job," or look at making a living from writing or music as a dream.
But I just got this feeling this morning, I’m not doing a good job of explaining this, that just was a bit depressing. Writing and music are the only skill set I’ve got, these days. I’ve forgotten most everything else. And no way am I interested in going to school to develop another skill set.
It’s just, the possibility of a real job is pretty much nil, unless I want to work as a waitress. Not that I’m thinking of getting a real job, even though I dream about health and dental insurance.
So I don’t know where I’m going with this. Except, for some odd reason, I feel like a trick pony or something. I have to make music and writing profitable, because that’s all I’ve got. There’s no dream in it for me, although I enjoy a good fantasy now and then. The bottom line, though, is this is all I know. They’re my only decent options at the moment.
Anyway. Did I make enough sense for you guys to have any thoughts about the subject?