Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Hypocrite!

If you ask, I'll say I don't believe in love at first sight. When I read it in fiction, love at first sight makes me scoff. In fact, I'm actually not that romantic.

If you ask me how I met DH, I'll tell you that we met in a chat room. We exchanged one sentence. He said maybe ten lines in the conversation. I had absolutely know idea who he was, and he barely even noticed me!

But I knew.

I spent the next three days, half the time on my bed and staring up at the ceiling, knowing I had met the man I'd spend my life with. I just knew.

It took me nearly TWO WEEKS to compose a "quick note" to him, introducing myself. He visited a month later, we spent Christmas and New Year's together, and by the next Christmas, he moved in with me.  (That's skipping over a little rocky patch, but ...)

Still, I'm not exactly sure if that was love at first sight, or just intuition at first sight.

What about you? Do you believe in love at first sight? And how did you meet your current partner? When did you know?

(I love "meet" stories! Please feel free to go on in the comment section, as long as you want! Incidentally, always feel free to go on as long as you want. Mi blogga, su blogga.)

25 bonus scribbles:

Heather Harper 3/11/2008 07:56:00 PM  

I knew with my husband, and I was only 17. (I think I was 17...)

He didn't know until he saw my butt in spandex legging. (I was an80's fashion victim.)

Barrie 3/11/2008 08:56:00 PM  

I'm not much of a romantic. But I figured something was up when we started talking permanent after only a month of dating. :)

How's the writing going?

spyscribbler 3/11/2008 09:05:00 PM  

That's so cool, Heather. 17! I think marrying one's high school sweetheart is so romantic.

(LOL about the leggings!)

spyscribbler 3/11/2008 09:07:00 PM  

Me either, Barrie. That's so cool, though! Isn't it strange how that happens?

Writing's going pretty good. I'm at 34,000 words of a 40 - 50,000 word novella. It's a bit of a mess at this point. I'm hoping ... no, I'm GOING to finish this damn thing by the weekend. And then I have some time to work on the spy novel before I have to write the next novella to pay the bills. :-) That'll be cool. I hope.

How's the writing going for you?

Zoe Winters 3/12/2008 02:46:00 AM  

My "meet" story for my first husband is way cooler than the current one. We met at a yield sign. Literally. I was stopped at the sign, he was driving by. Our eyes locked, background music, etc. He followed me to work and left a note and rose on my car (I promise it's not as creepy as it sounds lol)

Current husband, I met him at work. We were working in a hotel and he was the night auditor, I did some second shift and then two nights a week I was his relief auditor. He started coming in to work on his nights off and spending the entire night with me talking while I worked. He said he knew almost from the beginning that I was the one.

Bernita 3/12/2008 07:34:00 AM  

I believe in fascination at first sight.
My husband saw me walking across the street and announced to his friends he was going to marry me.
I was a little more cautious.
But.
We were engaged in two months and married two months later.

Aimless Writer 3/12/2008 08:38:00 AM  

I met my husband at a party in high school. I didn't know I loved him until he left for the Marine's seven months later.
As for love at first sight? Is it love or is it some kind of chemical lust?

Do novella's sell? I have one that I don't know what to do with because I didn't know they were sellable.

Edie 3/12/2008 09:24:00 AM  

Aimless, novellas do sell to e-pubs, and some print publishers too.

My meet story isn't that unusual. My husband and I met at a bar I went to on Friday nights with my friends and my sister, but I'll always remember his first line. "Hi, I met your sister." Then he asked me to dance.

It wasn't love at first sight. (I was 18!) He was seeing another girl at the time, and I was having fun and dating other boys. But we kept meeting at the bar for a month on Fridays, he and the other girl broke up, he asked me out, and a year later we were married.

Angie 3/12/2008 10:28:00 AM  

I don't believe in love at first sight either, although lust at first sight certainly exists. When you see someone and go ZING!! your brain releases Falling In Love chemicals -- those are what make you feel (and sometimes act) all smiling-goofy-in-love. When you're going around with that dorky grin on your face because you're thinking of your New Love, when you feel like you're walking on air a foot off the ground, when you feel all giggly-lovey over the sweet and silly little things your New Love does -- that's why. You feel like you're on a drugged high because you are, and your brain did it to you. :) It lasts a couple of months, which I suppose is about how long Mother Nature figured it'd take to start a baby, if the chips were going to fall that way.

After the drugs wear off is where you get the effect of rolling over one morning and staring aghast at this... this person in your bed and wonder what the hell you've been thinking all this time, and scramble to remember whether you introduced it to any of your friends. [grin]

On the other hand, if you spend the drugged-in-love time getting to know each other and find that you're compatible outside the sack too, you can transition nicely into actual, lasting (for however long) love. People who've made this transition successfully at least once are often the ones who'll swear up, down and sideways that there Is Too!! love at first sight. :)

And of course, there are great relationships which grow less spectacularly; there's definitely more than one way to fall in love.

And online meets are a whole different animal, since you don't get the response to the physical until you already know one another. My husband and I met online too, playing a fantasy RPG back in the eighties. We'd known each other... about three or four months, I think, when I flew down to meet him in person for the first time. It was definitely rocky, and we didn't get married for almost ten years, but we're coming up on our twelfth anniversary so it worked out well. :)

Angie

Susan Helene Gottfried 3/12/2008 10:36:00 AM  

The Tour Manager and I have a loooong history. We never dated until the mid-90s, but during college and grad school, I kept saying I had a feeling I'd already met the man I was going to marry.

I had.

spyscribbler 3/12/2008 11:05:00 AM  

Ohmigosh, Zoe! A yield sign! That's really something. LOL, it's true, that could sound creepy, or utterly romantic. :-)

Second husband ... awww. That is the sweetest. He actually came in to work extra to be with you? That's SO sweet!

spyscribbler 3/12/2008 11:06:00 AM  

Hah! Bernita, that's something. That's almost like Zoe's first story. Fascination at first sight. I really like that. Men are a mystery. He just knew, just like that?

Huh.

spyscribbler 3/12/2008 11:12:00 AM  

Oh, Aimless. I tell my husband that I'm grateful I didn't know him when he was in the Marines. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and I am not that strong, that's for sure.

About novellas, I really don't know. I'm even pretty out of the loop on the erotica market. I know what my two publishers do, what they want, and that's about it. They don't accept novels. (Mostly because they pay up front a serial fee, not an advance, and then royalties come later, but not against an advance. They can't afford to pay for a whole novel.) So even when I have a novel's worth of story, I have to cut it into a two novellas.

The rest of my attention is on thrillers, and I haven't seen any novellas, and the short stories are scarce. But I certainly don't feel like an expert in that regard, either. I haven't seen thrillers sell well online, either. But again, I don't know. :-)

I'm so unhelpful!

spyscribbler 3/12/2008 11:14:00 AM  

Awww, Edie, that's so sweet. Gosh, you know, I kinda miss those days, sometimes. I miss being on the prowl, with the possibility of a man sweeping you off your feet swirling in your chest.

Guess that's a reason to read some more romance!

Angie 3/12/2008 11:33:00 AM  

Aimless -- what genre? It definitely makes a difference. There are markets around for erotica, although I'm most familiar eith the m/m end of things. There are some m/f publishers who take them too, though, I'm pretty sure. SF and fantasy still have magazines which take novellas. I know there are at least one or two mystery magazines and they might. And some anthologies take novellas, although that's case-by-case and you have to dig around, and sometimes have to be invited.

There aren't as many markets for novellas as there are for either novels or shorts, but there are a few out there. If you have one sitting on your HD, it might be worth it to do some poking around. Good luck!

Angie

spyscribbler 3/12/2008 11:33:00 AM  

Oh, Angie, that's SO unromantic! :-)

Online meet-ups are different. It's more like ordering off a menu, LOL, and then you have to make sure you get what you ordered. :-)

I don't know how I knew about DH. Sometimes, I just know things about my future. I didn't love him then. Actually, knowing he was the one scared the crap out of me.

spyscribbler 3/12/2008 11:35:00 AM  

Wow, Susan! Sometimes just knowing someone for a long time is its own comfort. I'm actually looking forward to Made of Honor, the movie, for that reason. I think I like those stories best.

Angie 3/12/2008 11:38:00 AM  

SS -- Oh, Angie, that's SO unromantic! :-)

Yeah, well. [grin] Actually, being aware of the brain chemistry involved lets you take more of an overview from a storytelling perspective. Because from the POV of the character who's currently drugged, it feels intensely real. They're sort of an unreliable narrator from the base of it, but knowing what's really going on lets you manipulate things in a way that can be interesting.

And actually, I once wrote a character who knew what was going on and it gave him a great explanation (which he reminded himself of over and over) for why his much younger and incredibly hot and sweet lover couldn't really be in love with him. He "knew" that it was just a temporary thing, that his lover would come to his senses soon, and so he determined to enjoy it while it lasted but not let himself hope for anything. It was a fun plot point to play with. :D

Angie

Zoe Winters 3/13/2008 07:03:00 AM  

Hehe Spy, yeah, well he wasn't working, I was...but...still, he gave up his nights off to spend them with me at his workplace, so if that isn't genuine like, I don't know what is lol.

avery 3/13/2008 10:05:00 AM  

I met the Architect through a group of mutual friends. We went to see, "First Knight." He sat behind me and kicked my chair (granted, the movie sucked and he was probably restless). After that, we decided to drive to Atlantic City. We got there around four a.m. and he was hyper from drinking too much coffee. I thought he was the strangest man I'd ever met. A few more group outings with him did nothing to change my opinion. I was into guys who treated me like shit, and he didn't. Finally, my sister said, "Go out with him." I told her if she liked him so much, she should date him. After enduring her nagging as long as I could, I relented. Four months later we were engaged. Eleven months later, we were married. That was almost twelve years ago.

So, no love at "First Knight" (sorry, that was terrible). But, it was love ever after, I guess.

spyscribbler 3/13/2008 12:34:00 PM  

Oh, Angie, I'd love to play with that! I think I'd handle it quite a bit differently, but I would just love to play with that. What a great idea!

spyscribbler 3/13/2008 12:35:00 PM  

Zoe, that's what makes it so sweet and romantic!

spyscribbler 3/13/2008 12:37:00 PM  

Avery, I love First Knight! (Funny play on words, LOL!) Or at least I did. It's been awhile since I've seen it.

That's funny, him kicking your chair. That's such a guy thing to do when they like a girl. I woulda poured my coke over his head. Probably. :-)

Annoying getting your chair kicked, but so very cute in retrospect, you know?

Angie 3/13/2008 06:07:00 PM  

SS -- feel free to snag it if you want it. :)

Angie

Melanie Avila 3/14/2008 03:13:00 PM  

I met my husband salsa dancing. He was dating someone else and ended up marrying her but four years ago this past Monday (his birthday) he showed up back in town with news of divorce. We were purely friends for four years but I always liked him. I didn't tell a soul and he never let on that he was attracted to me - plus I'd never make a play for someone in a relationship - but once they broke up I made my feelings clear.

We've been married a year & a half now. :)