Monday, March 17, 2008

Some Bushisms to Brighten Your Day

I'm having those days where I let one person get to me. I really can't think of anything nice to say, so I thought I'd pass on a couple laughs. Or channel my snark in a positive way, at least.

I was looking up the exact wording of my all-time favorite Bush-is-so-stupid quote, and I stumbled upon some gems.

First, my favorite:

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? ... That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Feb. 28, 2008

Cause, you know, Bush has his finger on the pulse of the nation. Being the great president he is, he wouldn't know just about the most stressful financial challenge facing EVERY CITIZEN!

That's interesting???

I hadn't heard that???

Wait, are you serious? I hadn't heard that?

Oh. My. God.

The latest one is priceless. I can't believe we elected such an idiot. It's embarrassing. It's a humiliation for the whole country. Here you go:

"And so, General, I want to thank you for your service. And I appreciate the fact that you really snatched defeat out of the jaws of those who are trying to defeat us in Iraq." --George W. Bush, to Army Gen. Ray Odierno, Washington, D.C., March 3, 2008

Yes, because snatching defeat from our enemies is really why our soldiers are putting their lives on the line.

Here's a couple that just make me crack up:

"The decisions we make in Washington have a direct impact on the people in our country, obviously." --George W. Bush, New Albany, Ind., Nov. 13, 2007

"My job is a decision-making job, and as a result, I make a lot of decisions." --George W. Bush, The Decider, Lancaster, Pa., Oct. 3, 2007

I'll say this about Bush's decision. I never really understood just how much power a president had until Bush came into office and started decision-making us into mess after mess.

But this should give you more confidence about his decision-making-process:

"I got a lot of Ph.D.-types and smart people around me who come into the Oval Office and say, 'Mr. President, here's what's on my mind.' And I listen carefully to their advice. But having gathered the device, I decide, you know, I say, 'This is what we're going to do.'" --George W. Bush, Lancaster, Pa., Oct. 3, 2007

And this is how well those Ph.D's keep our President informed:

"I heard somebody say, 'Where's (Nelson) Mandela?' Well, Mandela's dead. Because Saddam killed all the Mandelas." --George W. Bush, on the former South African president, who is still very much alive, Washington, D.C., Sept. 20, 2007

And, dear God, I'm starting to pity the poor man:

"I'm going to try to see if I can remember as much to make it sound like I'm smart on the subject." --George W. Bush, answering a question about a possible flu pandemic, Cleveland, July 10, 2007

And if you're struggling with unemployment, here's hope from our commander in chief:

"There are jobs Americans aren't doing. ... If you've got a chicken factory, a chicken-plucking factory, or whatever you call them, you know what I'm talking about." --George W. Bush. Tipp City, Ohio, April 19, 2007

And, given how health care is one of my most important concerns, it's nice to know where the President stands.

"One of my concerns is that the health care not be as good as it can possibly be." --George W. Bush, on military benefits, Tipp City, Ohio, April 19, 2007

One could forgive his numerous misspeaks, if they weren't so true:

"And there is distrust in Washington. I am surprised, frankly, at the amount of distrust that exists in this town. And I'm sorry it's the case, and I'll work hard to try to elevate it." --George W. Bush, interview on National Public Radio, Jan. 29, 2007

And let's give Bush credit:

"I don't particularly like it when people put words in my mouth, either, by the way, unless I say it." --George W. Bush, Crawford, Texas, Nov. 10, 2007

If only he wouldn't say it. If only.

Then maybe the whole world wouldn't know that we, the American people, elected a fool for president. There's no crime in not being the smartest cookie around. There is a crime in electing a fool.

8 bonus scribbles:

Michelle,  3/18/2008 02:13:00 AM  

Laughing and laughing here. As a South African, I can only look in amazement at the Mandela comment. Geography was never Bush's strong suit, was it?

Barrie 3/18/2008 03:40:00 AM  

Great quotations! Very entertaining. In a sad way.

conley730 3/18/2008 11:39:00 AM  

Your post gave me a much needed laugh today!

Melanie Avila 3/18/2008 02:01:00 PM  

*beating head against wall*

I still cannot believe he's the President.

Edie 3/18/2008 02:03:00 PM  

Laughing yet sad. BTW, I didn't elect him. Neither did my husband. And to the person who stole our "Vote for Kerry" signs in 2004, when you complain about our economy, remember you what you did. (Wisconsin voted blue -- but it's the principle. lol)

I hope you feel better now, Spy.

avery 3/18/2008 02:06:00 PM  

You just made my lunchtime. The man is a master at proving everything everyone says about him.

spyscribbler 3/18/2008 02:27:00 PM  

Oh, Michelle. That cracked me up, and yet, at the same time, horrified me.

I mean, even before I started reading the BBC every day and before I started studying Africa a couple years back, I knew who Mandela was. I didn't know exactly where South Africa was, but I had a sneaking suspicion it was, um, in the SOUTH. And I knew Iraq was, um, UP THERE.

It really disturbs me that I know more about world than our President. Horrifies me, actually.

spyscribbler 3/18/2008 02:31:00 PM  

That's it exactly, Barrie. They're hilarious. And then when you stop laughing, you're kind of horrified, LOL.

I'm so glad, Conley! :-) They gave me a needed laugh, too!

Melanie, me either. And how did they hide just how stupid he was?

Edie, I'm guilty. I hated Kerry, irrationally did not trust him as far as I could spit. So it was the one time I voted for a Republican. Big oopsy, that. If Gore had been up there in 2004? No contest. I still want Gore.

Avery, isn't that astonishing? I mean, it's just hilarious that he says things the wrong way, and yet they're so darn true!