Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Wrung Out

So, it seems like weeks I've been writing around the black moment, testing my toe in it now and then for plot purposes, but for the most part, avoiding it and procrastinating it forever.

I always do this. I need to start planning for two weeks of procrastination when I'm near the end. Okay. I've probably been putzing in and out and around it for a month, three weeks, at least. At least I've gotten a lot of polishing done.

But finally, today, I sunk into it. It seemed to go on forever. About ten or twelve thousand words, and yes, there were some strange highs within the black moment, but it was loooonng. 

It was one of those days, where you suddenly realize you're not breathing. You come back to reality every hour or so to go to the bathroom, and you feel disoriented, like you're walking in a cloud.

I was tempted to take a deep breath and refresh myself with a cozy mystery, but then I'd have to go through it all again tomorrow.

Well, I do, anyway. I've got an even blacker moment coming up.

It was one of those twelve-hour intense, non-stop writing days where, when they make the call at Borders saying they're closing in one hour, I suddenly realize I haven't eaten in twelve hours.

I know these days are gifts.

But I feel emotionally wrung out, my stomach is in knots, and I feel like I've been through hell. I am this close to throwing up.  Seriously.

Part of me fears I've gone too far this time, pushed it too deep. Another part of me finds it ironic that for all the emotion this character has put me through, the filtered result for the reader is probably one-quarter what I feel. If I'm lucky.

And tomorrow morning, I'll have to be level-headed and even-keeled, and go through with a fine-tooth comb to make sure none of it reads melodramatic or silly.

Me? Melodramatic? Never!

Do you procrastinate or avoid your hero/ine's black moments? How do you gear yourself up emotionally? And you do you let go of it when you close the computer?

I'm going to a movie. 10,000 B.C., for the second time. Loved it the first time.

8 bonus scribbles:

Edie 3/26/2008 11:20:00 PM  

I'm the opposite. I look forward to writing the black moments. It's the in-between moments -- the valley moments -- that are harder for me.

I treasure writing days like that too. I hope I have one soon. :)

spyscribbler 3/26/2008 11:32:00 PM  

I feel like a dunce, but what's a valley moment?

Today was a gift. I listened to Stephanie Plum on the way home, and I actually feel better. 10,000 words, complete, in a row! No sentence fragments.

It was great ... except what I wrote eliminates 17,000 words that follow. I need tomorrow to be just as productive, to make up for it.

*sigh*

Vicki 3/27/2008 05:45:00 AM  

Major congrats on winning over at Bookends!!! I'm so excited for you. :D

Bernita 3/27/2008 06:26:00 AM  

You won, you won!!
At BookEnds!
SQUEE!!!

spyscribbler 3/27/2008 08:21:00 AM  

Wow, thanks, Vicki! I feel like a lucky girl today, for sure!

Bernita, my reaction precisely!!!!!

Rhonda Stapleton 3/27/2008 10:05:00 AM  

Hey, that BookEnds win should help you feel better!! CONGRATS!!!

spyscribbler 3/27/2008 12:25:00 PM  

Thanks, Rhonda! And hey, I love your new picture icon thingamabob! Tres cool!

Melanie Avila 3/27/2008 03:54:00 PM  

Congrats on the BookEnds win! And 10,000 words in a DAY?

*drops to knees & bows*