Good news first: DH will finally, definitely be home by Sunday afternoon. Thank GOD! And, he is finally in range of Canada, so he can call me on his cell phone. Thank God again. I went a whole eight days without talking to him, which probably seems silly to you guys, but goodness. I really love the guy.
I've said it before: DH is invaluable, in that he keeps me writing through the rough spots. At some point, about the 70 - 85% mark, I panic.
I'm suddenly sure that everything I've written sucks, that where I'm going is awful, and that this story is going to be the one that makes my readers go, "Yuck! She's really gone off the deep end on this one!"
But I have the ending written, and only need to flesh out the tidbits I've jotted down before that, about 2,000 more words. I'm going to finish tomorrow.
Still, right now, I really long for DH to read through it and tell me it's okay. I kinda felt out my editor to see if she would look at things last week, but I got a "I'm sure it's fine" response.
I guess I'm on an ask-for-what-you-need quest. I noticed being simple and easy and not bothering my editor wasn't really establishing a relationship. Not that asking for help did much, either, but I consider the pseudonym an experiment and learning tool for the business.
Anyway, I'm pushing on, finishing. It's the hardest part far me, because I know as soon as I finish, it will be out there.
It's blind faith. I just keep going, gritting my teeth, my heart in a panic.
Writing the end is the scariest bit, for me.
And then there's sort of a weird distancing thing that happens. I just block the story out of my mind, and when readers write me, I go to a different place, where I'm one of those authors who are always confident and cool and sure of themselves.
Once it's out there, I try not to look back, you know? It's done. I can't change it. So I'd rather not notice if there's anything wrong with it. (Even though I ruthlessly go through, over and over, until I'm certain it's as perfect as I can make it.) Did I ever tell you about the time I almost wrote back a reader, and told her she was mistaken, that another writer had written the story she was talking about? (Turned out, I did write it. I just forgot, LOL.)
Oh well. Do you panic near the end? How do you get through it? Leave it for awhile, go back, re-read, and realize you're not as crazy as you thought? Push on blindly? Elicit the encouragement and/or wisdom of someone else? Or do you go it alone?