A Comma Favor?
Okay, so I've said before that I'm pretty clueless about copyediting. So mostly I just go for rhythm and instinct, then trust the copy editor. Lately, it's been feeling weird.
I'm picky about rhythm, but that's it. I know there are several theories of comma rules out there. One is the fortysomething-rule theory, the seventeen- or eighteen-rule theory, and then there's one around seven, and one that boils it down to two or three. (I forget the exact numbers.)
I don't care which theory you believe in, but will you tell me which you think is correct and why? Here are some examples--I didn't have time to make them sound like interesting sentences, LOL. Is A or B correct? (Or are they both passable, or ... you know. Whatever.)
A: I couldn't look at him as I edged past, and I kept my eyes hidden.
B: I couldn't look at him, as I edged past, and I kept my eyes hidden.
A: "Slide me your gun," he ordered, after I stood up.
B: "Slide me your gun," he ordered after I stood up.
A: I finally just shrieked, and left, slamming the door behind me as hard as I could.
B: I finally just shrieked and left, slamming the door behind me as hard as I could.
A: And that was that.
B: And, that was that.
17 bonus scribbles:
I prefer the ones with fewer commas. For the first one "I couldn't look at him as I edged past, and I kept my eyes hidden", I was always taught that you use the comma with the word "and" to essentially separate two sentences. It's just easier reading to me if there are fewer commas.
Good to know. I don't get a STET opportunity, so I can't tell you how my eyes bugged out when I saw that first one, LOL. (Or, B of the first one.) It made me take a breath in too many places, and I felt like I was mentally hyperventilating, LOL!
I'm not crazy about too many commas, so I just wanted to ask to make sure it wasn't my own problem. I would never call myself a copy-editing expert, for sure.
I think A on all of them. But, I have to admit I'm comma impaired. My editor usually puts in about a zillion of them on my manuscripts.
In order: a, b, b, a.
I tend to like commas, but I'll decide to use them or not for comedic effect. Sometimes a sentence without them can be staccato and funny if it goes with the idea. Likewise, commas can give you a breath before your funny idea or punchline.
LOL, Liz. Well, 2 out of 4 ain't bad, huh? I've got that same comma issue, LOL!
Edie, I hope you're right! Those are my choices, too.
The artistry of punctuation. I love it, Robin. Love it. :-)
So when are you going to start a blog? :-)
If you can delete the comma (or anything else) you should. I would break the first example into two sentences.
Good eye on the first one, Stephen. I also agree about deleting the commas if I can. But someone keeps putting them in, so I was worried I was wrong. This time, they felt SO wrong I couldn't keep my mouth shut.
Argh. I don't know. I really don't mean to be difficult. It's just I suddenly saw my words up there with these commas that weren't mine, and ... they didn't read right. And I suddenly got this neurotic worry that people might actually think I write that way!
Hmm.
a, a or b - depending on the effect you want - b, a.
ABBA.
No, not the band. The first one threw me but I decided on A.
I used to be a whiz at commas, then I started hanging out on writing forums where everyone over-analyses things and I can't do it anymore.
It would seem I'm an ABBA fan as well. ;)
Well, since you asked...I have a blog at www.robinaltman.wordpress.com. It's sick and twisted, and my last entry was about touching diarrhea. Come over and visit anytime!
The second one was the one I was least sure of, Bernita. Glad I get a choice!
Melanie, your comment made me laugh out loud when I read it yesterday! Isn't that the truth?
Anissa, I love it! ABBA. That's what I wrote. Oh well. Who knows. Maybe only I notice these things.
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