So you guys know I write in a tiny niche. And when I started in that niche, I'd read everything. No, really, I mean Every. Single. Story. Ever. Published. (for money, at least) in that niche. And I'd read a great deal of stories people were just writing and posting on (what were they called back then?) newsgroups?
When I started writing, it was easy to be a little bit original. (Not so easy to write well, LOL!) I knew everything that had come before. I'd read everything. Everything. It gave me confidence.
And now, I am completely comfortable taking an idea that's been done to death and making it my own.
I mean, I'm confident to the point of probably a touch of unjustified arrogance.
Either way, I know pseudonym can make any story interesting. I know she can make any idea work. I know she can make any idea feel fresh, whether it's original or not. (At least to those who enjoy that niche.)
No problem. Just sit down and do it. It might not be as good as my last story, or whatever, but I can make it work. And sure, I'll fuss and fret to make it better, worry it's the first story that sucks, you know. But in the end, it gets done.
So I can't even begin to explain the frustration I feel when I work my brain to come up with an original idea for me (er, real name me), and I have zero confidence. And then I turn around and the idea I've come up with has been done.
A million times.
And I feel zero confidence in my real name to take an idea that's been done and twist it until it's "freshly mine." LOL.
And these issues I have are getting SO OLD, honestly. And FRUSTRATING!
Well, anyway, that's the real reason I created The Spy Books Drop Site. I wanted to feel that foundation, know the genre so well that I could replicate the confidence I feel with my pseudonym.
Because, frankly, this freaking character will not leave me alone. I've dumped her thousands of times. I've tried to put her in other genres.
I just don't know what else to do.
So let's hope it helps give me some confidence. Who knows. If it sells some author's books in the meantime, then that's awesome.
So have you ever felt like you've been banging your head against the wall for years? Do you ever lose confidence that you can tell a story your own way, when it's been done a million times?
Sometimes I think writing takes a touch of cockiness. You need that confidence, that in-your-face strength of voice that gives a reader no choice but to be dragged into the story. I love writers whose voice "comes on strong" when they write.
I also think that cockiness has to be tempered by a good bit of worrying you suck. Even things out, you know? Being neurotic in private (or on your blog, LOL!) makes you question everything you do, refine it, make sure it has a purpose.
Writing is a bit crazy.
I guess I need my "real name" to find her inner cocky bitch. ;-)
She's got the neurotic worrywart down pat.
What do you do when you find you're writing a story that's been done before? I know, I know, twist it, make it your own. But I just feel like everyone has done it better than me. Argh.
Oh well. What can you do? Get through it, somehow.