Do you ever over-analyze your feelings? Do you ever try to find reason for something that just ... is?
You know, I just don't have much to say. I keep writing blog posts and deleting them, mostly because I feel lonely for DH and it's seeping into my usual chipperness. (Are you laughing, yet? ;-)
Approximately 102 days until he gets back. Almost out of the triple digits!
I also keep writing comments and then just giving up. I'm sorry. I am actually reading everyone's blogs too much, even reading every comment and everything, LOL. I guess I'm trying to avoid missing DH, as if it's wrong to miss DH or something. But then I just can't come up with much to say on my own, LOL.
It's human nature to start trying to apply reason and order to our feelings. We want to find a cause, come up with a solution. Fix things.
But sometimes you just feel blue.
Trying to find a rational reason for emotion, something inherently irrational, is counter-productive. You try to find something to latch onto, something to fix, but since there's nothing you can fix, you start fixing what isn't broke.
And when you fix something that isn't broken, you usually end up breaking it.
Sometimes you feel blue for circumstances beyond your control. And sometimes it's as stupid as what you ate, what you didn't eat, or how balanced your hormones are.
Or, most likely, I'm just missing DH. I know it's not "cool" to be lonely, but I've never been about being cool, LOL.
It's okay to miss people we love when they're not with us. I don't know why society is so obsessed with this "being independent" idea. What kind of life is that? Who wants to be alone?
Or maybe I'm too focused on society.
I have to focus on a novella for pseudonym. I sorta resent that I feel, sometimes, like a little bit of failure for doing that, something I love. It's stupid, because it really comes down to me feeling like pursuing a New York idea is what I "should" be doing if I take myself seriously.
Again, it's focusing on what society things, not what I think.
But I love where I love.
If her stuff was New-Yorkable, I'd throw it there in a heartbeat, no question. It's not. My second love is spy thrillers. And thrillers are mostly what I read these days. So I'm game.
I'm just thinking too much.
My tiny garden is looking a little blue. It was 55 during the day over the weekend. I don't know how cold it got at night. My tomato plants did not like that. They're not looking happy, either.
So how are you feeling? Do you ever over-analyze? Do you ever focus too much on what people think?
And if you have a garden, how is your garden doing?
Just to cheer us up, this is a compilation from the musical based on The Secret Garden, one of my favorites. Have you seen it? One of my favorite books, too!