Monday, July 07, 2008

The Girl I Mean To Be

I have zero thoughts today. None, nada, zip. It's like my brain is recovering from dairy shock or something. I'm all calm and focused. I don't understand that state, LOL.

And I've been reading. I miss reading. For awhile, I was in the mood for NOTHING, and I mean nothing.

Ever go through that?

Brett Battles' book, The Deceived, seems to have gotten me out of that rut real quick.

So off I go to read.

I'll leave you with these lyrics. Sometimes with all the noise in my head about shoulds and coulds, all the noise on the internet, all the noise everywhere, I start to lose my center.

Do you ever feel like that? Like you just need some time alone, really alone, without a single voice around you for days?  Just so you can hear yourself?

This song has the PERFECT lyrics:

I need a place where I can go,
Where I can whisper what I know,
Where I can whisper who I like
And where I go to see them.

I need a place where I can hide,
Where no one sees my life inside,
Where I can make my plans, and write them down
So I can read them.

A place where I can bid my heart be still
And it will mind me.
A place where I can go when I am lost,
And there I'll find me.

I need a place to spend the day,
Where no one says to go or stay,
Where I can take my pen and draw
The girl I mean to be.

Here's the song, if you'd like a listen:

14 bonus scribbles:

Edie 7/07/2008 11:40:00 PM  

"A place where I can go when I am lost" sounds like meditation. Maybe because I've been doing it, but I feel so much better since I started again. Just a few minutes of quiet is good. By quiet, I mean my thoughts too. That's the hardest part.

Christina 7/08/2008 03:37:00 AM  

I think I'm going through that right now. It's driving me nuts.

Aimless Writer 7/08/2008 08:04:00 AM  

Wow, I so feel that song. I used to play "I am a Rock" and think it was inside me. "A winter's day-
in a deep and dark December
I am alone-" by Paul Simon. But I think I like this song better.
Is this a writer thing? Seeking out the space where nothing can reach us?
My kids just got parts in My Secret Garden (goes off in Sept) at a local theater. One of them is Rose? I don't know who that is yet. The other is an extra.
Thanks for that song!

spyscribbler 7/08/2008 09:41:00 AM  

Edie, I totally thought of meditation while I wrote this! I kept thinking that I need to yoga and meditation every morning.

That's the hardest part for me, getting my brain to shut up.

spyscribbler 7/08/2008 09:41:00 AM  

Christina, it's driving me nuts, too!

lainey bancroft 7/08/2008 09:43:00 AM  

Ditto!

Yep. That's all I got today. :(

spyscribbler 7/08/2008 09:51:00 AM  

Aimless, that is so cool! Rose has the pretty voice, that's the mother, right? The Secret Garden is one of my favorite musicals.

I'm starting to think it might be a writer thing. :-)

eric-mayer 7/08/2008 11:30:00 AM  

I often feel I want to just hear myself. Unfortunately I can be very depressing to be alone with.

LaDonna 7/08/2008 12:03:00 PM  

Spy, I'm going through this too. I've limited my internet time, and that helps. I love quiet, and I'm gravitating to it more and more. I love listening to meditation CD's, so hopefully you can layer it in your day. Listen to your soul. Sounds like it wants a vacation, and that's a good thing. It means renewal to me.

spyscribbler 7/08/2008 12:05:00 PM  

LOL, Eric! I can be, too. When DH is out of town and I end up spending lots of time listening to myself think, I just get really sick of hearing myself think, LOL.

Melanie Avila 7/08/2008 01:31:00 PM  

Aimless, Simon & Garfunkel are the best when I'm feeling introspective.

Spy, do you journal? I try to at least once a week. It's amazing, I can tell a friend about what's troubling me, but until I write it down it doesn't feel resolved.

spyscribbler 7/08/2008 01:40:00 PM  

Ladonna, I'm trying to put more downtime in my life. I get addicted to the internet, because I love learning new things, and I'll go for hours and learn about tomatoes or whatever strikes my fancy. It's totally addicting!

spyscribbler 7/08/2008 02:34:00 PM  

Melanie, I do! Not as much, since I end up heaping it on you guys. :-) I need to.

You know, I was just thinking I missed Simon & Garfunkel. I had all their tapes. I don't know what happened to my tapes, LOL.