Thursday, August 21, 2008

About Those Hopes...

Okay, so I've got a knot the size of a watermelon in my stomach. The chiropractor visit was... interesting. First of all, I spent $155 to fill out a form and watch a REALLY DUMB 14 minute video that TOTALLY insults your intelligence.

The video person spoke in a really slow voice, like you know how some adults talk down to kids like they're idiots and can't grasp which way is up or down? It was SO annoying. And the content that I HAD to see? (He FORCED me to watch this video.)

"At... your... first... chiropractic... visit... you... will... fill... out... a... form... with... your... past... medical... history... so... the... doctor... can... discuss... it... with... you.... This... is... what.. the... form... looks... like.  Then... the... doctor... will... do... a... full... body.... checkup..."

You get the idea. Since I had already spent 50 minutes sitting in the waiting room while he was picking his nose (he wasn't even with another patient!), I was really irritated to waste another 14 minutes, particularly because I was paying $155 for it.

Oh, and the waiting room. The waiting room. Oh. My. Gawd. I finally turned off the damn radio, because it was piping this IRRITATING Christian Rock. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm cool with Christianity. But shouldn't there be a separation of doctor and religion? And I'm sorry, on a purely musical level, Christian Rock sucks. I would rather listen to screaming rap full of obscenities.

And I'm fine with Christianity, truly. Even when I was a Christian I HATED Christian Rock. Despised it. YUCK! It is the most awful music I've ever heard in my life. (I think there are two Christian Rock artists I've liked, ever, and I can only take them in small doses.)

And 80% of the literature on the table had to do with being a Christian. I am there to get my foot fixed, NOT to be converted!!!!

It was to the point where I felt distinctly uncomfortable, like I shouldn't be there since I wasn't a Christian.

Then we added another $140 for X-rays, at which point I'm practically hyperventilating to myself, "Please don't let this money be going to waste, please don't let this money be going to waste, please don't let this money be going to waste."

So I go back tomorrow for another $100, but I'm in tears because he's going to do exactly what my stepbrother did. And that didn't work. So I don't know.

Um, what did I say about hopes?

Yeah, I let them get a little too high. I want this SO BAD I can't even tell you. In fact, I want this so bad that my blood pressure was 25 numbers higher than usual! (That could've been the video and the Christian rock.) I want my foot better so bad that as soon as DH called me to see how it went, I started crying.

And while I'm totally cool spending $500 to fix my foot, I am so not cool with WASTING another $500 after wasting six or seven thousand already. I mean, this $500 hurts going out.

But maybe tomorrow he can make it better. I don't know. Maybe, huh? Tomorrow at one. So I guess I just need to get my hopes up again.

I shoulda gone to my stepbrother. *sigh* I feel like throwing up. I did the wrong thing, I can feel it. I shoulda saved this money and gone to my stepbrother.

Fuck. Oh well. What can you do? I had the feeling as soon as I talked to him, you know? The gut feeling? And I IGNORED it. WHY, dear God, do I do that???? EVERY time I do that I regret it! Damn, damn, damn.

Is this why people try not to get their hopes up? What do you think? Am I being a complete idiot here? I am, you don't have to say it. Sheesh.

36 bonus scribbles:

Robin 8/21/2008 08:20:00 PM  

Adam thinks I'm mean, but ever since I heard that chiropracters think you should crack newborn babies' backs to realign them, I think they are silly. Maybe he played the video so he could understand "what-a-form-was".
I'm so sorry about your foot. That's so awful.

spyscribbler 8/21/2008 08:26:00 PM  

LOL, Robin! That IS crazy! And the sad thing is, I think I only stayed because I keep feeling like my friends look at me wondering why I'm not getting my foot fixed, since no one has said what's wrong with it, and they told me I should go to him.

I am stupid, stupid, stupid sometimes! This is why I tell myself to keep my own counsel.

Melanie Avila 8/21/2008 09:45:00 PM  

Spy, I'm so sorry. Nothing I say will take away the bad feeling in your gut, I just hope tomorrow turns out better than you expect.

Robin 8/21/2008 09:55:00 PM  

Spy, I sent you an e mail through your blog, but I swear I'm not a stalker. At least not a bad stalker. Just a harmless little stalker. Check it out.

spyscribbler 8/21/2008 09:57:00 PM  

LOL, Robin. I did! I loved it. But I emailed you back. You didn't get it yet? Does someone think I'm spam again? Oh man, this is getting hard on my ego, LOLOL!

spyscribbler 8/21/2008 09:58:00 PM  

Melanie, I hope so, too. I really let myself get worked up. I didn't realize how excited I was, and how much I wanted to get back to TKD.

I wish I wanted to write that much!

Zoe Winters 8/21/2008 10:23:00 PM  

I know what you mean about the religion thing. I think they think it draws more customers or something, but the truth is, it alienates a LOT of people. As much as political crap all over an office would alienate. Spirituality is personal.

And I agree totally with you about Christian Rock. I stopped going to a specific gym because it was a Christian owned business that would only play Christian music.

Some people seem to think I'm "angry at God" or something else equally silly. Just because it was the wrong path for me, doesn't mean I think it's the wrong path for everyone. But it is highly uncomfortable for me to be in a situation where I feel like if people knew my religious status they would try to convert me, and not respect anything about me as a human being because I don't believe the same things they do are factually true.

Zoe Winters 8/21/2008 10:24:00 PM  

Oh and as for Chiropractors, some of them are freaking crazy, and I don't go for that big back popping crowd, but...the chiropractor I go to whenever I throw my knee out, uses a tiny little instrument to realign me. And it makes a world of difference.

LaDonna 8/21/2008 11:19:00 PM  

Aww, Spy, that's awful! Hubby is going to one now for a knee problem. Except, it's not near the cash you're putting out. I wish you hadn't had the Christian music blaring, the dumber than dirt video playing, and the nose-picker-doctor that made you wait.
Tomorrow, it might not seem so grim. I just want you and your foot well soon.

mom2brie,  8/21/2008 11:21:00 PM  

I'll be sending you all the positive energy I have at 1:00 tomorrow. I personally have a bias against chiropracters - but you know I don't like/trust the majority of doctors. The only thing that I can think of to say is (and maybe you've already done this) perhaps a sports doctor would be able to help...
Oh, I so hope tomorrow will at least make things better!!!!!!!

spyscribbler 8/21/2008 11:37:00 PM  

I'm pretty personal about my spirituality, too, Zoe. I'm fascinated by different religions, but there's a line. You know? I love to learn about religions, but I don't like being converted.

You bring up a good point. One chiro was cracking all over the place. This guy seems to be very specific, which is the best way to do it. So I should trust that.

spyscribbler 8/21/2008 11:41:00 PM  

I hope not, Ladonna. I really hope not. I'm trying to work my hope back up again.

I really hope your husband's knee improves!

spyscribbler 8/21/2008 11:43:00 PM  

Mom2World'sPrettiestBaby, the first chiro I went to was supposedly a sports doctor. But maybe it was the wrong kind. I don't know. There's so many different brands of doctors, I have no clue which one is the right one to go to.

That's the tough part. And they won't TELL you if you're seeing the wrong one. You practically need a medical degree to get yourself the right treatment!

Eric Mayer,  8/21/2008 11:48:00 PM  

I hope it helps but...don't shoot me...in my opinion a chiropractor might as well have Christian stuff around because prayers are as likely to work. I seriously worry about chiropractors hurting people. To be fair, I have heard some people swear by the results.

spyscribbler 8/21/2008 11:54:00 PM  

Eric, I totally believe in prayers. I just don't believe in one ways or you shoulds. To be fair, now that I'm a little more calm, I think he seems to be a good one, as in he's not randomly cracking all over the place, which is what the quacks do.

I don't know. I guess we'll see!

Zoe Winters 8/22/2008 12:34:00 AM  

Hey Eric,

I throw my knee out of alignment on occasion. I have before tried the "wait and see" attitude, figuring the chiropractor was some kind of placebo or something and it would get better on it's own anyway, but it rarely does. Normally it doesn't get fixed until the chiropractor fixes it.

I was very skeptical about chiropractic at first, and I still think there are some very kooky chiropractors out there, but it is a legitimate practice.

There are plenty of standard medical treatments and drugs given by standard doctors that have the same or less success results of chiropractic. Often it's a crap shoot no matter what you do.

(And also, not trying to convert you to the religion of Chiropractors lol, just sharing my experience on it.)

Barrie 8/22/2008 12:47:00 AM  

Oh, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, though, that it will still work out.

Bernita 8/22/2008 07:37:00 AM  

Poor kid. This is tough.

spyscribbler 8/22/2008 08:22:00 AM  

Zoe, I think chiropracty (hah! how do you say that?) is one profession that has some really great doctors and a lot of quacks who just start cracking away. The one doctor did that to me, just cracked my whole body!

spyscribbler 8/22/2008 08:23:00 AM  

Barrie, I am, too. I'm trying to work up my hope again. Actually, talking to you guys made me feel better, and I'm starting to see reason again. I sure hope he can fix it.

spyscribbler 8/22/2008 08:23:00 AM  

Bernita, maybe I'll still have good news today. Who knows! I guess all I can do at this point is keep hoping.

Aimless Writer 8/22/2008 08:44:00 AM  

I hate doctors! Most don't listen and treat the general public like we are idiots. I have a chiro I love. He listens and gets me in and out quick. My daughter went to a different one who made us watch the video (which we chatted through so I couldn't really tell you what it was about but my general thought was; lame)
I don't do organized religion. It never really resonated with me. (could be I'm scarred from that Catholic upbringing) My ideas of God are personal and come from my soul. I don't want to see that in a chiro's office-yeesh! Next time you go to him carry a book on devil worship just to mess with him. :)
My daughter sprained her foot when she was younger. We tried everything but it kept bothering her for over a year. Finally one doctor recommended physical therapy and thats what worked for her.
Good luck with that foot!

Mark Terry 8/22/2008 09:16:00 AM  

I don't actually know what's wrong with your foot, but, um...

Shouldn't you see a podiatrist instead of a chiropractor?

(And since I have spent years working and writing about healthcare, my feeling about chiropractors is they're fine if they stick with what their supposed areas of expertise is, which is back and posture correction through manipulation. It's when they go off into other areas that I start having a lot of problems with their so-called treatments.)

Stephen Parrish 8/22/2008 09:17:00 AM  

I hope it helps but...don't shoot me...in my opinion a chiropractor might as well have Christian stuff around because prayers are as likely to work.

Ditto.

Here's how you become a doctor:

1. You go to medical school.

2. You specialize.

If you skip #1 you're a quack.

spyscribbler 8/22/2008 09:25:00 AM  

LOL, Stephen, Eric's meaning flew right over my head until you quoted it.

I think chiropractors do do some medical school before they get their chiro thingamabob, which is actually why I tend to distrust them.

I did spend $5,000 on "real" doctors, for all the good it did. Imo, their whole methodology is out of whack. They haven't fixed a single thing wrong with me in the last fifteen years.

spyscribbler 8/22/2008 09:26:00 AM  

Mark, that's on the list. Going through this list is insane. Who to go to next? The only reason I'm going to this chiro is because I was assured he specializes in the feet and small bones.

I did go see the head of Foot Whatever at the Cleveland Clinic. Terribly expensive and he did nothing.

spyscribbler 8/22/2008 09:30:00 AM  

Aimless, I don't trust them, either. Can't stand them, actually. The video just clinched it for me.

We'll see, I guess. If this doesn't work, I'm just going to do TKD anyway. I forgot I loved it so much. If nothing is supposedly wrong with it, then why not? I can work through pain.

Ottavina 8/22/2008 11:58:00 AM  

I hear you on all counts. I'm kind of in one of those no-place-to-turn quandries because many conventional medical doctors have done stupid things to make matters worse, rather than better, and I've also witnessed plenty of complementary/alternative treatments go bust.

The Christian Rock thing, oh, honey, I completely agree. I'm currently trying to get out of being a church musician permanently because of my own beliefs, because I've seen too many horrible things supported in the name of the church, etc., ad nauseam. What really gets me is that everyone I work with expects me to listen to contemporary Christian music for fun in my spare time. Gah! No! It's like nails on a blackboard!

Anyway, I hope things are looking up for you, or that they start to.

(This is Monica, by the way.)

Edie 8/22/2008 12:06:00 PM  

Oh, Spy, huge hugs. I'm sending you healing light and prayers. Also, I hope you complained about the stupid video and the long wait. No reason you have to take that crap if he wasn't with another patient.

I was at the grocery store and they stuck in a church flyer in my grocery bag. I went back in and complained. It's bad enough that I get them in my mailbox all the time, but I certainly don't want them stuck in the groceries I pay for. They actually stopped doing it after I complained.

Melanie Avila 8/22/2008 01:20:00 PM  

The comments have made me think of lots of stories to share. :)

- When I first found out my back was injured (bulging disc & fractured vertebrae that healed itself) I asked my doctor if I should go to a specialist in sports medicine. He told me that's his specialty and I later found out he's one of the on-call doctors for the Chicago Bulls. Oops.

- I also believe religion should be a personal thing and HATE when people try to convert me. When we moved here we lived with my husband's family, who are all Jehova's Witnesses. I have other family that are witnesses so I know all about it and didn't want to hear more. Let's just say I spent a lot of time pretending I didn't understand.

- I just finished The Faith Club, a book by a Jewish woman, Muslim woman, and Christian woman. It's very interesting & compares the three religions in a non-preachy way.

- Christian Rock, lol. Do you remember the band the Verve Pipe? They had that song the Freshman back in '97/'98? Well the lead singer became a Christian Rock singer and now works with my parents church. He was there last time I was home. :) But I still don't listen to it.

I hope these stories have distracted you from your foot.

Zoe Winters 8/22/2008 07:58:00 PM  

That's because doctors know next to nothing about healing. They treat symptoms with prescription drugs, which often introduce more problems.

I'm not against western medicine on the rare occasions it actually does some good. But it is highly overrated in most circumstances, IMO.

spyscribbler 8/23/2008 12:43:00 AM  

Monica! Monica! It's Monica. :-) It's so cool to hear from all these long lost friends. I now officially love Facebook. :-)

Total nails on a chalkboard. Totally. The stuff is awful. It's sort of like bad easy listening mixed with bad pop rock.

spyscribbler 8/23/2008 12:47:00 AM  

That's good, Edie! I'm really on the fence about this guy. We'll see. I really think the whole Christian thing is out of place in a doctor's office.

I don't know. I sometimes talk about my spirituality a little bit. I am curious and interested in all religions: it's a fascinating subject to me. On the other hand, I hate listening to "The One way, one way, uh-huh! Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!" and feeling uncomfortable.

Obviously, there's a line somewhere. I just hope I don't cross it, sometimes.

Btw, I came home today with Mormon AND Witness literature on my front porch. *sigh*

spyscribbler 8/23/2008 12:49:00 AM  

No, those are great stories, Melanie! Is your back better? I hope he fixed it.

How was the Faith Club? I remember you said it started slowly for you. Did it become a good story? It certainly sounds interesting.

spyscribbler 8/23/2008 12:50:00 AM  

Zoe, I do think western medicine has a few things to learn, and they'd be much better off without the drug companies throwing around so much money and power.

Zoe Winters 8/23/2008 07:12:00 PM  

True, Spy. Now if you need surgery for an injury. Western Docs are the one you want. We have some of the best surgeons in the world, but the doctors who respect safer more natural treatment options are few and far between. I have a licensed actual medical doctor who was fully supportive of me using natural progesterone instead of birth control pills for a hormonal imbalance. You don't find that often.