Monday, August 18, 2008

Getting Your Hopes Up

I've heard and seen "Don't get your hopes up!" a lot. It's around all the time. Oftentimes, those who really want something will preface it by saying, "but I'm not getting my hopes up!" as if that would be a Bad Thing, as if that would be something to be embarrassed about.

It looks like I'm going to give my foot another go with another doctor in the next week or two. I've been telling myself I'm not getting my hopes up.

And yesterday, I realized, I'm totally deluding myself. I'm re-learning all my forms, I'm lifting weights, I'm doing yoga, and I'm doing this treadmill sort of thing where you don't have to actually walk. (I don't know what it's called.)

I also scheduled my lessons this year so that I can make TKD class three times a week.

If all that's not "hopes up," then I don't know what is.

I sat down with myself yesterday and tried to talk myself down, and realized this is the happiest I've been in a year. I might have a foot I can use in a couple weeks! Gosh, it would just mean the world to me.

Most of my loves have become my businesses. Which is fine. But TKD is the only "pure" fun hobby I've ever loved.

In fact, my hopes are so high, I haven't called the doctor yet. This is the best time I've had in ages. If I go to the doctor and he doesn't fix my foot, we'll be back to square one.

So why not enjoy the "hopes up" phase?

I will call the doctor tomorrow, truly. But still. I'm going to milk this hopes up phase for as long as it lasts.

Y'all wouldn't mind praying or sending healing thoughts or whatever that he can fix my foot easily and cheaply, would you? Gosh, it would make my decade if I could get back to Taekwondo. I don't care if it hurts a bit as long as it's not injuring or weakening my foot. I just want to get back to TKD really, really badly. Please, universe? Pretty please? With love and sugar on top?

While you're at it, you could pray that Melanie and her hubby get to move back to the States. And that Erica and her family stay healthy. Those fellow bloggers are always in my thoughts.

Hey, what about you?

What have you secretly gotten your hopes up about, lately? And do you sorta hide them, a little bit shy about sharing them? Or maybe afraid to break the spell? Do you keep your hopes a secret, sometimes?

36 bonus scribbles:

WendyCinNYC 8/18/2008 08:07:00 PM  

Good thoughts to you and your foot.

I have my hopes up about getting an agent and selling my book, and I'm certainly trying to keep those hopes in check.

spyscribbler 8/18/2008 08:24:00 PM  

Then I'll get my hopes up for you, Wendy! I say we have a big hopefest. What's the harm? I meant to ask: why do we do that?

Thanks for the good thoughts!

conley730 8/18/2008 09:19:00 PM  

Sending happy foot thoughts your way!

I can't really think of anything I've gotten my hopes up about lately. Usually I get my hopes up after a job interview or something like that. Maybe I have my hopes up a teensy little bit that I'll meet a new guy soon! I've been separated almost 2 years now and divorce for a year and a half, so I'm actually getting halfway interested in dating again.

Eric Mayer,  8/18/2008 10:03:00 PM  

Good luck with that foot. That's a tough problem to have. I loved running and my back won't let me so I suppose I have a little idea how you feel but at least I'm perfectly mobile, if slow. No pain or anything thank goodness. What I hope to do is get back to orienteering, even though I'll need to just walk, slow. I think I can still walk a course without my back going. We'll see.

spyscribbler 8/18/2008 10:45:00 PM  

Erin, you know, even though I love DH and wouldn't trade him for the world, I kinda miss that hope of meeting someone. I remember hating that stage, though, too, LOL. The grass is always greener!

I really hope someone amazing comes into your life!

spyscribbler 8/18/2008 10:48:00 PM  

Eric, what happened? I can imagine how that must feel. It's a huge lifestyle-changer. It seems like such a little thing, but... it's not. I have an up and down relationship with running, but I used to love it. It's highly addictive.

Orienteering is just WAY cool. Loreth Anne White does it. Have you been to her blog? She also runs marathons.

Zoe Winters 8/19/2008 04:57:00 AM  

I think I'm too open with my hopes, and sometimes that translates into frustration. I had originally planned to put out KEPT as a free e-novella but I'm not willing to put out sub par writing. And rereading it now, even after several drafts, I think it just sucks beyond sucking. There's too much narrative summary I think and not enough dialogue. And the dialogue is kind of boring. But some beta readers have said they loved it, but I hate it. And I'm very frustrated right now.

And it's hit me hard because I rarely get in this big of a writing funk. I'm hoping it's mainly hormones, but even so, surely hormones can't manufacture this much suckage.

And holy crap, why don't I just go whine on everybody's blog.

Bernita 8/19/2008 05:43:00 AM  

Afraid of the vagaries of malign fate, I usually keep my hopes secret.
Doesn't mean I don't have them against all logic.
Think a fixing of your foot is a reasonable expectation though.
So more happy hope thoughts your way that it will be mended.

Zoe Winters 8/19/2008 05:51:00 AM  

sorry, mood swings. I should be banned from all communication when I'm hormonal. It just makes me look more insane.

Aimless Writer 8/19/2008 07:27:00 AM  

I've been not getting my hopes up since the beginning of August. I'm afraid to say anything cause it might jinx it!
Damn that jinx anyway.
Good luck with that foot! Sending healing vibes your way.

Amy Nathan 8/19/2008 08:58:00 AM  

Sending good thoughts your way!

Hopes are something I share with only a few. I know it doesn't make disappointment hurt less, but I feel like that way there is much less explaining to do. Plus, hoping for something doesn't make it happen and I know that.

But hope is what keeps us going. Without it, why do anything other than eat and pay taxes?

LaDonna 8/19/2008 10:54:00 AM  

Spy, I love that you have your hopes up! I think when we believe magic happens. Call me corny, but it's true. Hope gets all the gears going.

I'm sending warm light to that foot of yours too. Keep us posted, cause I love when hope is flying high. Don't let anything dash those dreams either.

StarvingWriteNow 8/19/2008 11:20:00 AM  

Yes, I secretly get my hopes up all the time. Sometimes for the good, sometimes for naught. I figure as long as I can hope for something, then it is worth getting up every day, persevering, blah blah blah...

Good luck with the foot--keep me posted!

spyscribbler 8/19/2008 11:50:00 AM  

Zoe, come whine on my blog any time! I'm almost done reading SMS. LOL, I know you don't mean to be funny, but you're even funny when you're not trying to be. I really wish you had said "Holy crap on a cracker" again instead of "Holy crap," though. I swear, I'm DYING to use that phrase.

Everything I see is fixable things, not a matter of talent. So take heart. And like I tell my students, if you see it, you can fix it.

And I DID like Kept! :-)

Travis Erwin 8/19/2008 11:52:00 AM  

I always have my hopes up if I can. Beats the hell out of the alternative.

spyscribbler 8/19/2008 11:58:00 AM  

Bernita, thank you! I have plenty of hopes I keep secret, too. I even have a few that defy the laws of logic. :-)

spyscribbler 8/19/2008 11:59:00 AM  

Don't be silly, Zoe! We're friends! You're supposed to be able to be hormonal amongst friends.

I know what you mean, though. Sometimes I spill and then I feel so out there, exposed, and embarrassed! I do that all the time. I always say the factory forgot to install my filter, and the after-market stuff never works!

spyscribbler 8/19/2008 12:00:00 PM  

Thanks, Aimless! I'm going to get my hopes up for you, too, even though I don't know what for!

spyscribbler 8/19/2008 12:03:00 PM  

Amy, I don't know about you, but half of my hopes are I hope I can afford to eat well and pay the (#@$#@%%@^#@%$) taxes!

I understand about the hopes. Who likes explaining a let-down? Yuck! Kinda like keeping a pregnancy a secret until the second trimester, maybe.

Melanie Avila 8/19/2008 12:08:00 PM  

Spy, I'll help you hope for your foot. It's nice to worry about other people. When we first moved here I had a hard time getting anyone to tell me about themselves; they just wanted to ask how we are. That's nice and all, but I need to worry about and get excited for other people. :)

I try to keep my hopes to myself because it sucks when it doesn't happen and you have to tell everyone, then deal with the sad faces. I don't like that.

I have one thing I'm hopeful for that I'm keeping secret from the intrawebs (I'll tell you privately) and one I can tell. We were married August 26, but today is the anniversary of our civil ceremony. We get two!

Finally, thanks for the good wishes. I'm sure I'll be a nervous wreck come December.

spyscribbler 8/19/2008 12:08:00 PM  

Ladonna, you're right. I don't buy into a whole lot of self-help rhetoric, BUT, I do indulge. I rarely do what they say, but I don't need to. They're selling hope, and once you have hope, that's really all you need sometimes.

So who was responsible for calling the blog "Magical Musings?"

spyscribbler 8/19/2008 12:12:00 PM  

So true, Writenow! If I have no hope, I hide under the covers. Not good, LOL. I almost don't want to call the doctor today, you know?

spyscribbler 8/19/2008 12:12:00 PM  

Definitely true, Travis!

spyscribbler 8/19/2008 12:17:00 PM  

Thanks, Melanie! I can understand that. I almost hate for people who I met at TKD to ask how my foot is doing. It sorta makes me feel like a failure, that I haven't been able to make it better yet.

Here's to your secret hope, and two anniversaries! Lucky you!

Edie 8/19/2008 02:55:00 PM  

Spy, I'm sending healing light to your foot. I'm picturing you dancing on it. :)

I don't expect but I hope. I can't imagine a world without hope. We'd be dead inside. We wouldn't try, because we wouldn't have any hopes that we'd make it.

It's okay if all my hopes don't come true. But when I expect it, then I'm crushed.

Right now I have some subs to agents/editors, and I enteres writing contests. So I hope.

Zoe Winters 8/19/2008 03:08:00 PM  

Oh my God, Spy. I know. I wasn't installed with the filter either. That "No, don't stay that, you ninny" attachment doesn't come in the standard Zoe model.

I'm glad you liked KEPT. After taking my hormones, waiting thirty minutes, and then going back to it, it doesnt' suck THAT much and the problems are fixable, I'm just stressing cause I have a self imposed deadline. But I should remember it's SELF imposed.

Robin 8/19/2008 07:07:00 PM  

Spy, I really hope this foot thing is able to be fixed. Maybe you can threaten the doctor. Something like, "If you don't fix my foot to my satisfaction, I'll throw a spinning side kick to your nuts, and you'll never procreate." That should make him feel warm and nurturing.

LaDonna 8/19/2008 09:18:00 PM  

Hey Spy, it was Michelle and Edie on the Magical Musings name. Just love it!

Zoe Winters 8/19/2008 10:46:00 PM  

Oh, also, I hope things go okay with your foot. I should have said that before, but I was having a ninny meltdown and sometimes those make me behave like an insensitive jerk (i.e. ignoring other people's stuff.)

spyscribbler 8/20/2008 09:56:00 AM  

Edie, thank you! I like that philosophy. My best friend has a saying about that, from Alexander Pope. I forgot what it was, though. Something like he who expects nothing will never be disappointed.

spyscribbler 8/20/2008 10:09:00 AM  

Zoe, I wish I could take my self-imposed deadlines as seriously! My mind just laughs at them.

It drives me crazy how hormones rule my feelings so much. I hate that.

spyscribbler 8/20/2008 10:10:00 AM  

Robin, I can't tell you how many times I've imagined doing a good sidekick to my first doctor! Right on his ankle! See if he knows how it feels to have a "medium sprain" that lasts two years. The idiot.

spyscribbler 8/20/2008 10:11:00 AM  

Ladonna, they're geniuses!

spyscribbler 8/20/2008 10:12:00 AM  

LOL, Zoe. I'm an only child. You can't compete with me on that one. I have to work hard to not be more self-absorbed than I already am!

spyscribbler 8/20/2008 10:12:00 AM  

(NOT that you're self-absorbed at ALL. Sheesh, everything is coming out wrong.)

Zoe Winters 8/20/2008 10:52:00 PM  

hahahahahahahahahahaha

You're funny, Spy. :P

Yes, hormones make things hard. I feel crazy a lot of the time.