Thursday, September 11, 2008

Love... and Hate!

image Well, you know. What goes up must come down. This week, the cookie crumbled so that I'm totally cringing at my WIP.

What can you do?

I think we're often blessed with the path we most need. Sometimes.

Anyway, I have to say, if I didn't have to finish all my stories, if I didn't need the money, I would tear them in little tiny pieces and gleefully destroy them.

No, the delete key would not work.

I'd have to print it out, tear each page individually into tiny little ribbons, crumple them all into paper balls, put them in a fire circle, and watch them burn.

And then I'd print it out a couple more times so I could do it again.

I always hate it at the end. HATE it.

I should just trust the process.

But what if this is the one that really sucks, like royally bad?

I mean, I went out there this time, and I fear I didn't pull it off. And if I didn't, man, that would suck.

Since we're talking about shit, I thought I'd just mention I want to toilet-train my cats. The litter boxes are driving me crazy. They are in our bedroom because that's the only place for them. Let me tell you, it's not doing it for me.

It would save $60 a month. (Can you believe that???) And the mess would be gone!

And tomorrow I'm going to a football game. One of my students is field commander. I'm bringing a book and leaving after half-time. :-)

How do you keep going when you feel certain it sucks? Grit your teeth and bear it? And kitty toilet training: would you or wouldn't you?

31 bonus scribbles:

Aimless Writer 9/11/2008 10:36:00 PM  

I give myself permission to write badly. Sometimes when I do that something clicks in my brain and the writing takes off. I think doing this takes the pressure off.
I've thought about toilet training my cat too but I have a outdoors cat and wonder how to get her to wipe her little paws before touching the seat. I mean if she's walking in God knows what outside ...do we want those paws on seat we'll sit on?
However the other side of the coin is how do we know what she's walking on when we're asleep? I once caught her chewing on our tooth brushes. (Now we keep them in the cabinet)

Melanie Avila 9/11/2008 10:41:00 PM  

I think I'll need your encouragement in a couple weeks when I'm knee deep in edits. All I can say is keep at it!

As for the cat, please take photos if you decide to try this. :)

Edie 9/11/2008 10:49:00 PM  

I think you have deadlines, otherwise my advice would be to set it aside for at least a week. Maybe when you look at it again, you'll realize you did pull it off.

I tried the potty training thing with my cat. I got all the way to the last step, when there's no litter box and she's supposed to go in the toilet. Instead she pooped in the bathtub.

I hope it works better with yours. Good luck!

Robin 9/11/2008 11:32:00 PM  

Maybe you're too hard on your work. Can you give it to a neutral party for an honest opinion?

I'm going to teach my dogs to cook my breakfast.

spyscribbler 9/11/2008 11:40:00 PM  

Aimless, I really need to do that. My best stuff comes when I allow myself to write a bunch of shit and make a mess.

Awwwwww, about the paws. I kinda figure that it doesn't matter much whether it's the toilet seat or a chair, you know? Kitty cooties are unavoidable. :-)

spyscribbler 9/11/2008 11:41:00 PM  

You bet, Melanie! Photos galore! I was looking on YouTube, and some people are so prroud of their cats, they've recorded them pooping.

I promise not to go that far. :-)

spyscribbler 9/11/2008 11:51:00 PM  

Edie, I'm so behind. If I didn't pull it off, I'm just plain screwed. :-(

Wow, you know how you know someone for awhile, and then they suddenly tell you something about themselves that surprises you?

Well, I think it's the coolest that you toilet-trained your cat, Edie! What did you use? Did you use one of the kits, or did you use a litter box and keep cutting bigger holes?

When I was reading up on it, I did read that leaving a couple inches of water in the bathtub and sink during the training phase would help keep them from getting "confused", LOL.

spyscribbler 9/11/2008 11:53:00 PM  

If only I had time, Robin. Man. If you teach your dogs to cook you breakfast, I'm kidnapping them!

Vwriter 9/12/2008 01:18:00 AM  

I'm so glad to hear someone else say this. In the final stages of a work, I usually hate it with a passion from hell. It's like being stalked by the Internal Revenue Service. The characters haunt me in my sleep and its not safe for me to drive because I drift off re-thinking a plot mechanism and as I come out of the fugue state, I'm dangerously close to unexpectedly crossing a state line.

Thanks for speaking up on this.

Bernita 9/12/2008 07:25:00 AM  

Sometimes the only hope is that others suck worse, you know?

Amy Nathan 9/12/2008 07:47:00 AM  

Walk away for a bit, come back with refreshed eyes! Really! It works. Hate to pimp my own blog but I had this revelation the other day when I was hard boiling eggs. Sometimes you just have to let things simmer on their own.

;)

Aimless Writer 9/12/2008 10:19:00 AM  

Spy;
Difference between a toilet seat and a chair is nakedness. lol Maybe this only bothers me because I'm a virgo?

Sometimes exercise helps me writer better too. Could it be the blood flow to the head?

lainey bancroft 9/12/2008 10:59:00 AM  

Just tell yourself if you truly sucked, you wouldn't HAVE a deadline! :)

I should have toilet trained my cat. He loves the toilet, drinks from it, washes his paws in it. Not sure I'd attempt it now though. He's fifteen and getting more attitude disordered every day. Can't teach an old dog...probably applies to cats as well.

Kate S 9/12/2008 12:31:00 PM  

Lainey made a very good point, Spy.

You know, this just seems to be the week for kitties on the pot photos. Head on over to Cliff Brooks blog (I don't remember the link offhand, but I've got a link to him on my Weird Side blog) --he's offering to help people teach their cats to use the toilet. I think I'm going to take him up on the offer. The old pooper scooper isn't doing it for me either. :)

Michele 9/12/2008 02:15:00 PM  

Oh, if only I could teach my dog to do that...

You've got quite the support team here, Spy! And as many of them already mentioned...after a bit of time away from the project, you'll find that you're story is working. It's difficult when you're on deadline, though. But I love Lainey's comment about deadlines! Remember that. :-)

spyscribbler 9/12/2008 02:44:00 PM  

Vwriter, I hesitate because it sounds a little cliche and overdramatic, but the feeling is SO REAL! I'm glad you understand.

(Btw, should I call you Rick, Ferrel, or Vwriter?) I love your blog. It's one of those blogs I love to read and always feel a little shy to comment on.

Anyone who has one post on Clive Cussler and the next on Sylvia Plath is way cool. My kind of person! :-)

spyscribbler 9/12/2008 02:48:00 PM  

That's a good way to find hope, Bernita!

spyscribbler 9/12/2008 02:49:00 PM  

You did, Amy! And did I not comment? Maybe not, but of course I read that post. Good post!

spyscribbler 9/12/2008 02:52:00 PM  

A Virgo? Eegads, oh no, Aimless! :-) LOL. If you think about it, though, you don't really touch much of the seat that you wouldn't touch if you didn't have shorts on.

I am not brave enough to sit on a public toilet seat, but if you think about it, there's not much difference between sitting on a public toilet seat sans pants and sitting on a public bench in shorts.

(Okay, my best friend said that. And ever since, I've never sat on a public bench. But I'm okay with my babies. :-)

spyscribbler 9/12/2008 02:56:00 PM  

I have to confess, Lainey, I wonder about that, LOL. And this could always be the one that sucks, you know?

Your cat sounds cute! I always close the lid, but if I didn't, they'd all be playing in it. Which sorta grosses me out, LOL. I know it's pretty clean, but...

My oldest is 10ish. She loves the toilet. It's her throne. So I'm hoping it will transfer, LOL...

spyscribbler 9/12/2008 02:58:00 PM  

Kate, thanks for mentioning it! I've never been to his blog, and cats aside, I loved it.

The litter just hit my can't-stand-it-anymore point. Probably when I'd cleaned out the litter box, brought the garbage bag downstairs, and the bag broke in the middle of the living room. Oh. My. God. What a mess! What a stink!

Hate it!

Vwriter 9/12/2008 03:01:00 PM  

Hi Spyscribbler,

Hey, we writers have to stick together!

And I'm glad you stop by my blog. I'd love to hear from you, but "stealth" visitors are always welcome.

Looking forward to your next post!

spyscribbler 9/12/2008 03:02:00 PM  

Michele, you are SO right! You know, it really bewilders me that people read my blogs at all, honestly. I can find no explanation for it, but I'm so grateful for the community.

But gosh. I'm so lucky. You guys are such a support to me.

And you're right, Michele. Even if it's just two hours to watch a movie, or a night of sleep... I need to step away! Even with a deadline!

spyscribbler 9/12/2008 03:04:00 PM  

Okay, I'm determined, Vwriter. Next post I'll say hi! Even if I have nothing more intelligent to say than that, LOL. :-)

Virginia Lady 9/12/2008 03:05:00 PM  

I tend to go through that phase when I hate the work as well. I suspect it is all part of the process. Kind of like getting a degree. Slog through it, it'll be worth it in the long run.

Hmmm, I've thought about training a cat, but my current one is, um, not too bright, so I'm just happy she's figured out the box. And my previous cats preferred to go outside and the box was only used in horrible weather a time or two a month at most. Ah, those were the days.

spyscribbler 9/12/2008 03:20:00 PM  

Oh, Virginia, that must have been wonderful! I swear to goodness, one of my cats... when he pees, I have to change the litter box. I mean, this cat pees like a racehorse. He pees out 2 cups of liquid almost every time. (That's TMI, isn't it?)

"Slog through it, it'll be worth it in the long run."

I'm going to repeat that to myself over and over and over until it's done. Thank you, Virginia!

Eric Mayer,  9/12/2008 03:27:00 PM  

Well, you're not alone. I must be getting vibes from you. The last few days I can't make any progress on what I'm writing. Can't even seem to get a sentence right. I always dislike my stuff when I'm finished anyway. Which is OK because it's good to move on to the next thing. If the result ends up publishable, that's what counts I guess. Satisfying ourselves (for some of us) is an endless quest.

spyscribbler 9/12/2008 03:42:00 PM  

I hope my vibes aren't causing your funk, Eric! I dislike my stuff when I'm finished, too. Maybe a couple years later, I'll have to re-read something I wrote for one reason or another, and I'll be surprised I sorta enjoyed it. And SHOCKED it's coherent!

And you're right. About 80% through, I am DYING to get to the next thing. It is good!

Rhonda Stapleton 9/12/2008 09:33:00 PM  

((hugs)) I soooo feel your pain. I feel like everything I write is horrid, ROFL. But that's our internal censor--try not to let that dominate while you're writing. And in fact, it's usually MUCH harsher than what is really called for.

Hope you can toilet train the cat!!

spyscribbler 9/13/2008 12:04:00 PM  

Rhonda, you're right! I mean, it's quite useful, being so harsh. On the other hand, when you read stuff awhile later, it's not as bad as it felt at the moment!

Zoe Winters 9/18/2008 09:28:00 AM  

I just want to say that cats that use the toilet crack me up. haha.