Monday, September 08, 2008

Loving and Forgetting

27 more days until DH gets back. Yay! I'm really talking about writing, even though it might not sound like it at first. :-)

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?

Sometimes, when you spend time with someone day in and day out, you sort of forget you love them. The things you love about them become a little less prominent, and the things that don't matter seem to grow bigger and bigger.

With DH gone, I remember all the things I love about him. And, like, him farting on me while we're sleeping spooned becomes something I miss. I notice all the things he does, and the things I appreciate about him.

I believe I'm having the same experience with writing.

I've tried so many NY ideas, and none of them have grabbed me enough to get written. It's been a mental struggle. I keep trying to find reasons and excuses.

What surprised me, the last few weeks, is how much I love writing what pseudo writes. I love it. I'm having a blast!

I'm finishing two books in two different series, and I'm DYING to write the next book in each series already.

I always felt I'd get sick of a series. I'm on books 4 in both of them, and I just LOVE them. I always felt I'd run out of stories in a series, but... not in the slightest.

I am totally in love with them. Totally.

I knew I enjoyed it.

I had no idea I loved it. In fact, I was pretty sure I was sick of what pseudo writes.

So color me surprised.

It's not like I'm abandoning NY ideas: I'll keep mining my mind, and one of these days some are going to grab me, I'm positive of it.

It's just me to want to be "successful," to strive to be the best, the top tier, whatever. (Whether I get there is another story, LOL!)  If NY is the place to be a "winner," then I want to get there. It's just who I am, I'm afraid.

But the last two weeks, I realized: I love what I write. I totally forgot. I love it passionately. Love it, love it, love it.

I honestly don't know how I'm ever going to sync up those two parts of who I am, those two loves and drives.

Oh well.

Have you ever forgotten you loved something? Have you ever been surprised you loved something?

16 bonus scribbles:

Robin 9/08/2008 09:12:00 PM  

Unfortunately, I'm the farter when Adam and I are spooning. It's not very lady-like.

I'm so glad you're loving writing. I'm finding it hard to find time to write lately. Plus, I'm not as enthusiastic about my job. When I'm there I adore the kids, and feel great about helping them, but before work (like tonight) I'm dreading the next day. This is so unlike me. I need some positive reinforcement. Maybe only selling 4 books at Friday's book reading got me down.

Oh! What? This isn't my forum to bitch? I forgot! Oops!

spyscribbler 9/08/2008 09:42:00 PM  

Robin, can I tell you? DH had NEVER heard a woman fart until me. Can you believe that??? I mean, come on!

It is totally your forum to bitch! Totally!

For me, the product of my teaching work is outside of my control. I'm motivated by successes, but in teaching, the success is 90% a student's work, priorities, piano, parents, etc. Simply because of that, I find it hard to stay motivated.

Like I was SO enthusiastic when school started. And then none of the kids practiced since they're trying to "get back in the swing of things."

It's like they each came in and let a little air out of the enthusiasm ball, so I'd get back to normal, LOL.

I don't know. Is it like that with what you do? You do the work, but the successes and credit are other people's doing or not doing, out of your control.

I think it's tricky to stay enthusiastic with that set-up, you know? I certainly don't know how!

Edie 9/08/2008 11:51:00 PM  

I was trying to write a mainstream story. The premise was great. It's a book I'd love to read. But it wasn't the right story for me to write. When I switched to writing a paranormal romance, it was such a relief. I felt that same love you felt. This story fit me.

StarvingWriteNow 9/09/2008 06:51:00 AM  

Now that I just live with son, I'm enjoying being obnoxious. To a point; I mean, I'm not cracking off farts in public or anything, but at home... let 'em rip! He thinks it's hilarious--and he can burp the alphabet if he tries hard enough, a total guy accomplishment.

27 days... are you just dying? You're in the home stretch!

spyscribbler 9/09/2008 08:17:00 AM  

Edie, that's it! These are stories I'd love to read, but... they're not the story I'm supposed to write at the moment. I've written stories without the love, it's fine, but... I want to write stories I'm passionate about.

spyscribbler 9/09/2008 08:19:00 AM  

Hah! That's great, Writenow! I pick up such Bachelor habits with DH gone, it's terrible. The other week, I drank directly from a jug of water and then offered my friend a drink. I felt like such an idiot! I must lose the bachelor habits!

I'm excited for him to come back, yes, very much! The time is eeking by, minute by minute!

Erica Orloff 9/09/2008 08:26:00 AM  

Hmmmm . . .

I'm always so busy, and everyone once in a while, when I get sick, I spend the day in bed. And though I don't like being sick, sometimes, I just LOVE a day spent like that. Just watching endless Law & Order re-runs and being a slug. It's a total guilt pleasure.


spyscribbler 9/09/2008 08:32:00 AM  

Oh, Erica, I can understand that! For me, it's Star Trek, but I love doing that! :-)

I do have a hard time with it, though. Still learning to not be terrified that I won't be back, stuck in that bed for years. It's crazy: I have to coach myself through relaxing so I don't panic!

Robin 9/09/2008 10:35:00 AM  

Spy: That might be part of it. Thanks! Something to mull over...

Angie 9/09/2008 11:13:00 AM  

I remember when I was first married, I had an experience like that. Jim and I met online, and never spent all that much time together until we were married, and suddenly he was There All The Time. I'd never been married before, or even had a roommate, so it was an adjustment, but I soon got used to it. The first time I travelled without him -- I think it was to spend two weeks with my mom around Easter -- I was surprised by how much I missed him. We talked on the phone a few times, and sent e-mail back and forth, which was what we'd done before we got married. I figured it'd be just like that, but it wasn't. It was different and I missed him, a lot. <3 <3 <3

So, yeah, I do know what you mean. :D


spyscribbler 9/09/2008 02:29:00 PM  

Robin, if you ever learn the secret, I hope you'll share!

spyscribbler 9/09/2008 02:31:00 PM  

Angie, I met my DH online, too! I'm so thankful for the internet. Our first year was a little rocky: I was used to doing things my way! Doing what I wanted when I wanted and spending the money how I wanted.

It's an adjustment!

Karen Olson 9/09/2008 07:08:00 PM  

I'm afraid that comment about your DH was a little too much information for me...:)

I discovered that I loved writing the first book in my new series. I really wasn't sure, was totally out of my comfort zone, but when I started writing it, I realized about halfway through that I was really enjoying it. I have to write the second book and I'm dying to start, but I'm finishing up edits on this one (a process I don't love) first.

spyscribbler 9/10/2008 10:37:00 AM  

LOL, Karen! Series totally surprised me. I like them. Who knew? And I get the can't wait until the next one thing, definitely!

Melanie Avila 9/10/2008 03:47:00 PM  

I can appreciate what you say about absence and the heart. I spend a lot of time with my husband and it's easy to forget why you love each other. Trips like this remind me. :)

Melanie Avila 9/10/2008 03:49:00 PM  

Robin, I tried looking for your book yesterday but the bookstore didn't have ANYTHING I wanted. Drat.

Oh, and I think I fart more than my hubby, too, lol.