Barry Eisler once said something that stuck with me. I'm going to paraphrase it badly because y'all know how my memory is. He said that if you want to get to the top of the mountain, there's a point in your journey where it becomes detrimental to keep looking at the top of the mountain, because you'll trip over the stones and branches at your feet.
Once you plan your journey, once you know where you want to go, it's more effective to look at your next step.
Last night, I was watching a football game (one of my students is field commander), and there was this player who could NOT get past the other's team's defense. What struck me, is that he was looking right at the blocker (henceforth my official term for that position, LOL), nothing else.
He couldn't get past the blocker, and his eyes were GLUED to the blocker.
The player who did manage to burst past their blockers had their eyes looking for a path, while keeping the blocker in their peripheral vision.
It struck me as interesting.
And this morning, it struck me as amusing that I can obsess about which path to take next in my career all I want. I can agonize about writing what I write instead of writing something for NY.
What's funny is it makes no difference: the next morning, there I am writing. Without any thought. Just there I am.
It's like me writing is a completely different entity from me trying to work out a career, from me trying to (for lack of a better word) coach myself.
Sorta makes me wonder why I bother worrying about it. I should just see what the girl who sits down at the desk every day writes, and then my other half can worry about selling it.
It's like I'm two people. The one worries, nags, agonizes, obsesses, plots the path, sees the pitfalls, etc. She frets like you wouldn't believe! (Well, you read this blog, so I guess you would believe.)
And then the other me just sits down every day and writes, completely unperturbed, unfazed, and unconcerned.
It sort of blows my mind.
Do you have two people in you? A writer and a career-plotter? And where do you look? The next step or the top of the mountain? The obstacle or the path?